No🚫 Cap🧢 In My Rap 🗣️
No🚫 Cap🧢 In My Rap 🗣️
Bucko x OG Mike x RobSkiii x Lish: Men Need Love Too
The journey through love and relationships is rarely as smooth as we imagine, and in this raw, unfiltered episode, we tackle the emotional blind spots that keep us stuck in cycles of miscommunication and pain.
Special guest Alicia "Lish" brings powerful perspective as she shares her story of a 17-year marriage where she endured years of infidelity before finding the courage to choose herself. Her journey reveals a universal truth many struggle to accept: "Broken people break other people." The conversation explores why we stay in unfulfilling relationships long after love has departed, and the crucial need to heal before bringing past wounds into new relationships.
We challenge traditional gender expectations around emotional expression, highlighting how men crave love and affection but often lack the emotional intelligence to express these needs. The discussion on love languages reveals a deeper truth – your partner's emotional needs shift constantly, requiring you to recognize when they need words of affirmation over physical touch without them having to ask.
Perhaps most poignantly, we explore how parenting shapes future relationships. The "grown folks talk" mentality creates barriers to communication that continue for generations, while children observe everything despite our attempts to shield them from relationship struggles. The hosts share personal stories of recognizing these patterns in their own lives and relationships.
Whether you're struggling to communicate your needs, questioning why you keep attracting the wrong partners, or wondering if you should stay in a relationship that's lost its spark, this episode offers honest insights on choosing yourself, recognizing your worth, and creating space for genuinely fulfilling connections. Listen, reflect, and consider what emotional barriers you might need to break down in your own life.
Appreciate all the people that tune in and follow us on Instagram.
To all the people that take the time to listen you are the reason I do this for all the people halfway supporting we appreciate you too and for all you haters keep hating.
Big Bucks No Whammy
DamnBuck0 Productions
No Cap!!!!
Yo, yo yo. What's going on? It's your boy, dj Bucko. I got my boy, og Mike, and my boy Rob Ski, and we got a new special guest today with us. Y'all, alicia, unfiltered. How you doing baby, go ahead and introduce yourself.
Speaker 2:Hey y'all. Hey, my name is Lish, or Alicia Lish use me, yes, and I'm here honored to be here, ready to get into this thing, ready to answer these questions.
Speaker 1:We glad answer these questions. We're glad to have you here. Absolutely, it's a co-host, guys, this is a special guest co-host today. We're glad to have you here with us on Left on Red and Cat no Cat, my right, we got you in ready to roll. I definitely want to first guys. A week out, happy Mother's Day. Belated All the mothers.
Speaker 4:Absolutely Happy Mother's Day.
Speaker 1:To everybody. You know a lot of people that Sunday could be a hard time for some people. For some people, it's a great day. Make sure you're showing love to all the people in your life, whether it's a mother, grandmother, aunt, sister, anybody influential in your life. Happy Mother's Day to y'all, man. Keep doing what you do. Happy Mother's Day All the mothers Independent mothers, single mothers, married mothers, all mothers deserve this day.
Speaker 1:Facts, facts. I definitely want to go ahead, guys. As usual. The hot take. I want to get into the hot take today. Who going to give us the hot take? Pull it up real quick.
Speaker 4:Hot take. We're going to keep it with. You know, for the women we just want to speak as men married men, unmarried men, just happy men. Men want to be loved too. I think sometimes that's missed. That's interesting. Sometimes they think we don't need a hug, kiss. Sometimes, if we quiet, maybe we don't want talk. That don't mean you should leave the room. Just want women to know we want the same things y'all want. We want the affection, we want the love, and a lot of times we need it and we don't know how to express it.
Speaker 1:So help us, help ourselves, so we can be better for you. I agree, as a man, of course, I feel like a lot, of, a lot of times. Y'all, you know what's the song. I can read your mind, babe. I want somebody to read my mind. God damn it.
Speaker 1:I want you to know how I feel, because a lot of times, as men we were grown up is don't give our, don't show emotions, don't show how you feel. Eq and emotional intelligence isn't there and I feel like it's taught. You know it's not okay. As boys to men, we're taught you know not to cry, not to show those feelings, but then when we get older and we're like, you're like oh, I don't know, tell me how you feel, I don't know how you feel. You don't ever communicate how you feel and we've been the stigma of well, I've been, I've been trained to not let you really know how I feel, because it could be a sign of weakness.
Speaker 1:And I think a lot of times, um, we want that love too. We just don't know how to, how to show it sometimes. Tell you how we want it. That'd be the hard part. I think it's a couple things too like uh, I think men are naturally offstanding aggressive. We don't show outwardly that we want to hug. We don't show outwardly that we want love and affection because that's not our natural disposition. We walk around with our wall up all day because that's how men are taught to be, that sometimes we don't know how to let it down, to let people in. So I think what my boy, og Mike, is saying is give it to us anyway, love us anyway. We need it, even if we're not outwardly showing that we want it or need it. Yeah, we're looking for the same things.
Speaker 2:We definitely love love and affection well, I think you, just as a woman speaking with a fiance. I just feel like you have to be in tune with your partner, so you have to yeah, you can with me, speaking for myself and my experience.
Speaker 2:I see it on his face, I see it in his body language. I see it, you know, when I see it in his body language. I see it, you know, when he comes home and I can see him decompressing in each step that he's taking walking in the house. So I can see that, like, okay, I'm going to give him 30 minutes to an hour, let him decompress. I'm going to ask him how was your day? How was everything going? You need anything, even if it's in his he's going to say no, I'm straight, I'm good, because that's what y'all do, I'm cool.
Speaker 1:That's exactly what we do, but I can see it.
Speaker 2:No, you're not. You're tense. You're rubbing your head, your hand is in your face. You need some attention, you need some love, and I'm going to do that. You ain't got to ask me for it. I can see it, but you have to be in tune with your partner to know that.
Speaker 4:So give us some background on you. Was you always like that? Did you always know?
Speaker 2:Hell? No, okay, absolutely not. Everything that I have learned about me within these last five years has been due to the relationship that I have now In my past relationship. No, because you're not going to give to somebody that you don't want.
Speaker 1:Bingo, bingo, oh wait that was deep you ain't going to give somebody you want, but deep, but okay. So now I have a question with that thing Amen say amen, I got a question with that. You, man say man, I got a question with that. You ain't gonna give what you want, but you with them. So what was the?
Speaker 4:so if you with them, you're not gonna give to who you don't want, but you with them though that don't mean I want you, that's correct.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's the part I get by. I got you then because I'm like, if I'm with you of want, I gotta want you some way. Though, right, I'm talking about? We're talking about a relationship she said right past relationship. So there was a time where she felt as if she, you know that it could have been something and then it stopped. So for me it's like the whole time. Was it something that you said no, I didn't want to know more, or how that? How does that look like whenever you're talking about with the emotional part of knowing?
Speaker 2:what's emotional aspect of it is. With women, everything is tied to our emotions. So if I'm not getting what I need from you, how can I give to you what you need from me?
Speaker 1:okay, it's impossible, I got you, I got you.
Speaker 2:So I feel like that, go both ways once you check out, especially for a woman, once we check out it's you can't get nothing well, uh, what r Kelly say when the woman's fed up? Hey. It ain't no coming back. You can't pray your way back into that. Once you checked out, you checked out.
Speaker 1:I'm with you. I guess once it's over, it's over.
Speaker 4:But in the happiness space the giving is for the other person. So you got to give, not expecting anything back, but the person for you, the right partner, is going to give. You know what I'm saying the same, so y'all end up on the same page anyway. It's tough to accept that you're not the most important person to yourself. Being selfless with your mate is how you get to that happy place for real.
Speaker 1:Being selfless Okay.
Speaker 4:Yeah because everybody want to be loved.
Speaker 1:There's a book called Five to Five Love Languages. Yeah for sure you got to know your partner's language. I think a lot of people don't even care.
Speaker 2:And you also have to know when your partner's language, Because in our reality we all have our five.
Speaker 4:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:But in this moment I might not need that physical touch. I might need words of affirmation.
Speaker 4:That's where we go wrong. Yeah, especially just speaking as a man, we want the physical touch all the time. It ain't that she don't want you, she just don't. She ain't in the right head space. And then you're mad and then you take it somewhere else. And now you causing a rift for no reason, when it's just really what she needed was affirmation. She wanted to feel good. Maybe she got shit on at work, maybe she into it with her friends, you don't know, because you worried about physical touch in the moment.
Speaker 2:But then that comes with asking those questions too.
Speaker 4:Emotional intelligence. You have to ask those questions absolutely.
Speaker 2:You gotta show up if I'm, if you clearly see that this physical touch ain't working, then ask me what is it that I need? Don't assume, don't get mad, don't think that, oh, she, she's rejecting me right now. Yeah, no, ask me what it is that I need and, as a woman, you should. If this is your man, this is your mate, you should tell him this. That ain't where I'm at right now but, what I could use is this because we're not mind readers.
Speaker 1:You might get the nail in the head too emotional yeah so let's just say a man or a woman, either one, it doesn't matter. You know this person's the better or stronger, emotional, intelligent person. What's that balance so? Kind of like what you were just saying. If your partner is the weaker one in emotional intelligence and he's addressing you about his physical needs that you're not ready for, do you get mad at him because he doesn't understand how to take it to that next level, or do you talk to him, you talk.
Speaker 1:Because that's where the resolution is going to come in at communication. So we're talking. So we're talking about this, this level of communication and emotional intelligence. What I feel like a lot of times, though and this is just speaking at my age and just what I've grown up with I feel like sometimes, as men, we want all this communication. Excuse me, women, y'all want all this communication, but, respectfully, I feel like I was watching a video. I feel like y'all should know when I want you shouldn't know, but in my mind it's like I ain't sucked this nigga dick in a couple days. I kind of need to get on my job. I've been slacking. Oh, I kind of ain't, you know. I kind of ain't, you know, fed this nigga no good food he been cooking lately. You know I'm saying I kind of need to get on my pimping like he do. Does it ever cross your mind, as a woman, to feel like, okay, I'm checking up? Like, mentally, are you checking boxes of, like, what needs to be done for your man?
Speaker 2:for me what you're saying is these are your thoughts, like you know. What are you speaking from a woman like?
Speaker 1:I can't, I can't, I can't speak, for no woman are you saying like she ain't suck my dick?
Speaker 2:or are you saying like damn, she knows shit, you know I'm doing both kind of slick.
Speaker 1:I'm like hold on.
Speaker 4:this is the day internal conflict. If it's you that's thinking these'm like, hold on Because, at the end of the day, internal conflict If it's you that's thinking these thoughts like she ain't did this, she ain't did that. Right.
Speaker 2:That's an uncommunicated expectation. Okay so you're expecting her to do something that she might not be aware that she hasn't even done, because she has life going on. She got other things that she's dealing with, so did you communicate that we have those conversations?
Speaker 1:Me and my fiance. Did I communicate that I want my dicks up, absolutely? I whipped it out and I said, god damn it, I guess she wasn't going for it one goddamn day. A lot of men communicate in different ways. I want to say that too. Everybody's communication is different, so I guess it goes back to a little like you said, if you know your man, so how far do he need to communicate if you know what the hell he's talking about without saying it?
Speaker 4:So playing both sides, that was advocate. The problem ain't the communication, it's communicating about the communication. Yeah, because if you just mad, who the fuck wanted to fuck with you anyway? Anyway, you didn't ruin any mood, whether it's dinner, whether it's the room, you didn't fuck it up. Being mad and I think a lot of men got to realize that too Absolutely Anger. Being mad, that's an emotion. Quit saying you're not emotional Facts, you're fucking mad every day.
Speaker 4:We're mad every fucking goddamn day. That's showing emotion, so that's not a desirable emotion. If you're snapping because you need some head, approaching is snapping ain't gonna get the head. Yeah, chill the fuck out.
Speaker 1:chill out, have a conversation but that'd be, but it'd be.
Speaker 1:Can I say this though you could, hey, no, cap baby say this though and we could be, why we could say, okay, communication's key when it comes to things. Because how I feel is this If a woman's like, hey, I need a little, because women are great at communicating when they need something that benefits them, now some things could be sexual. Some women are like, nah, damn it, nigga, I need this right now. I need some dick, come on, get me right. I need some coochie, get me right. But when we're talking about let's take sex out of it, let's get away from sex, let's talk about financial, let's talk about, um, feeling like they're protected. Y'all gotta have that. You gotta have that protection feeling, that financial feeling.
Speaker 1:But as men it's more pride when we come to you on a level like that. I say I'm not the breadwinner. How can a man come to you and have that conversation? Because still, communication. But sometimes it comes off different and maybe not as strong. If I need some money in my pocket or you know, baby, I ain't got. I ain't got no gas in my car, I need my oil changed, and how can I? Does it feel different when, if a man's asking for something that he feels is deemed to him to have, which is sexual desires, but on a financial level or a level of protection. How would you feel if a man, if a man, did come at you like that? Does that make you feel like you're more? He's less of a man, or what does that make you feel?
Speaker 2:because, at the end of the day, we all fall short, no matter what your financial status is or where you are in life. At some point you're gonna hit a roadblock and you're gonna need every. Nobody on this earth is where they are because they got there by themselves. Everybody has had some help. So, with you being my man and I'm in this relationship with you and you fall short, I don't have a problem with helping you. I'm not gonna look at you as less of a man. I'm not gonna criticize you, I'm not gonna bring up later, hold it over your head, and none of that, because if I love you enough to enter into a relationship with you, then it's expected that at some point you're going to need me for something.
Speaker 2:Facts Now. Should it be all the time? No, but if you falling short, you fall short and as. But if you falling short, you fall short, and as your teammate, it's my job to lift you up, to help you. I don't want you out here looking raggedy. So if you need a haircut, go get your haircut, because when you walk out this house, you represent both of us I noticed.
Speaker 1:I noticed you said that all the time. So how long is too long or how often is too often?
Speaker 2:it just depends what, what. What are you doing with your money?
Speaker 3:where are you?
Speaker 2:where are your? Let's sit down and do a budget. Let's see where your money is going to, where you are constantly having to come to me to ask for gas money or haircut money, or whatever the case may be. Let's sit down and do a budget, because somewhere some money is slipping through the cracks and if you don't have a job, that's a whole not.
Speaker 1:Or because I think Bucko said the breadwinner, you just make more money than him, so his money ain't going to last as long as yours or stretch as long he's paycheck to paycheck. So my question is, how long will a woman deal with that?
Speaker 2:I can't answer that.
Speaker 1:You got sisters, you got cousins. What you got, you got family In in all honesty.
Speaker 2:I feel like I hold on to money better than my fiance, okay, and I know that you know what I'm saying. So when we go out to eat, I'm not the type of person that's always looking for him to pay. I pay, you know, but what are you doing to supplement what you don't have? I mean, you got DoorDash, you got Instacart, you got Uber, you got Lyft. There's other avenues of making yourself more financially stable.
Speaker 1:So he can't be complacent.
Speaker 2:No, you definitely can't be complacent. I like that. Well, hold on, hold on.
Speaker 4:I respect that, but if you meet somebody and you with them, and they decide I'm comfortable here, how do you expect the growth they don't want to grow? I'm cool where I'm at. My life has been OK. We work, though, and you just make more money than me.
Speaker 2:You got to be cool when I've been able to get a haircut OK, you got to be cool when not having gas money. If you're not going to elevate yourself, then you got to be cool with not being able to get a haircut. Okay, you got to be cool with not having gas money. If you're not going to elevate yourself, then you got to be okay. If you're coming into the relationship saying I'm cool where I'm at, good, that's you.
Speaker 4:So that's to what Buck's saying. So let's go past that. I'm cool, I get my haircut. I don't need your money. So I'm not coming into it where I'm asking you for nothing. But I'm not trying to do extra because I'm okay.
Speaker 2:Is that okay? For that, it just depends on the woman.
Speaker 4:Yeah, just put the numbers on it you make 80, I make 50. We come together. This 50 has been holding me down.
Speaker 1:Are you saying like he don't even want to get past the 50?
Speaker 4:Nah, he like his job, he cool with life at this level. And the reason I'm having this conversation is because I've heard women I want ambition, but that changes as you get older. So let's say he 40 now. Y'all done, been through the ringer, both of y'all, with relationships I done, chased shit I done, you know, wanted, wanted the bag. My ex-wife fucked me up. I don't want to deal with this shit. I got a good job for me. I like where I'm at, I conform my mortgage and I meet you now you're 40, coming into it saying you want me to be ambitious man, ambitious for kids.
Speaker 2:I'm grown, I'm good I can say this, as long as I'm you not putting me at risk of losing shit. If that's where you're comfortable at being, if that's where you're comfortable and it's not causing me to lose anything, then do you okay but.
Speaker 2:If you come in and I'm starting to. I can't get my nails done because I gotta pay majority of the bills. I can't get my nails done because I got to pay majority of the bills. I can't get my hair done because you slack. That's, that's we. Now I'm starting to lose out on shit that I was accustomed to.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I just. I think people need to hear these words because we chasing bags and bags don't bring happiness. It doesn't Bags bring stress, it does. If I'm good here, or I'm, you know, five, ten years away from paying this house off, I ain't got to worry about a mortgage. Fifty looks different then, and that could be a man or a woman. I just want people to open their mind to. Chasing something always doesn't mean you're chasing happiness.
Speaker 1:Facts More money, more problems.
Speaker 4:Yeah, Like if you got a good person, appreciate the person, we'd be broke together. No, I didn't say broke. I can't do that.
Speaker 1:But she said something, though that I think is important, though that if it stops me from getting my nails, and my hair done if it stops you men, as providers, we will sacrifice for ourselves and maybe sometimes wrong.
Speaker 1:We're going to let you know about yourself. But we'll sacrifice ourselves of maybe not getting the things we want to make sure you're happy, and that sometimes turns into a simp-ass nigga in the long run. But if he loves you, though, and you're willing to show that though, it's cool. But let's say there's no love involved, there's nothing. Long run that's a simp.
Speaker 4:That's a real topic, bro. It is, that's a real topic, bro. That is Because men are raised to not give a fuck about themselves. Facts, not intentionally, but especially, you know, yeah because y'all don't.
Speaker 2:I don't know what it is about. Y'all buying underwear and socks, oh man what you mean. Y'all just don't buy them.
Speaker 1:We get on every idea If y'all
Speaker 2:got a gal y'all Shit.
Speaker 4:I don't get. I definitely do. Nah, 20-something me Hell. Nah, I do. I realize I'm like down there at 30. Like well, I got draws from high school Still, what the fuck Still.
Speaker 1:I'm a different breed. I definitely buy new shit. How regularly do you buy new draws? I don't know Regular. I just bought about 15, 12.
Speaker 4:Hey, now on Amazon. It's easy bro. It's easy bro. I need to get on your butt.
Speaker 1:I'm saying like on a regular basis, Like I don't know, and if you know me, you know I like to match. Like my drawers got to match my outfit. I'm not wearing no green drawers For real.
Speaker 4:Nah, we got that in common, bro. Y'all matching drawers. My closet used to be color coordinated. All kinds of shit Socks like. Shit, I'm lazy.
Speaker 1:Now I'm about to dry out a washing machine and this shit got a hole in it. It's going in the trash. Oh, trash. No, I'm going to keep it on. I get that.
Speaker 4:Nah. So true story man. I got my homeboy man, love him to death. He going to hear this shit and be mad. But, bro, we grown. I go over his house, everybody got the undershirt. I understand, but we grown, we 40, we grown. When I go in his house he ain't fully dressed yet he in the kitchen with the shirt and it just stopped me in my tracks. Bro, he had that shirt. You know you're not supposed to own no more this motherfucker. It ain't white, no more. The collar fucked up. Hey, bro, you work and make really good money. Why the fuck is this shirt in your house? Mike, it's an undershirt, why?
Speaker 1:the fuck is this? My wife actually told me I buy too many fucking undershirts. I keep like Icy Whites.
Speaker 4:Really Hell yeah, see, I hate white t-shirts. I do too, I like black.
Speaker 1:I prefer a black undershirt. I got them too. I'm just saying. In general, the whites get dingy.
Speaker 4:Yeah, you gotta throw them out, bro, I'm gonna buy a whole new bag.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like I keep Icy whites. Yeah, on a regular basis. Your homeboy, though. I got Cause I do that. Cause I do that I know you look like that. I do that, but look, I'll be real with you, though it's because Sometimes clothes hold emotions for me.
Speaker 4:Yeah, sometimes you got to throw the emotions away. My grandma bought me this shirt back in 05. Grandma going to understand.
Speaker 1:Grandma not here, no more.
Speaker 4:Keep the motherfucker, don't wear it. If you really have an emotional attachment to it, you better get a chain, like I did my granny on my neck, that's real. I still got some shit, my ass can't wear no more.
Speaker 2:I just look at it and I hear it. I still got some shit. My ass can't wear no more.
Speaker 1:I just look at it and I eat it. Fuck that t-shirt. That t-shirt got to go. Yeah, yo, okay, hey, hey yo that t-shirt got to go. Don't put that shit on, no more. Put that motherfucker in a box and let it rip. I think we Box Trash bag, Trash bag bro. Not save with.
Speaker 5:Unless it had her face on it. The rest in peace, granny.
Speaker 4:Other than that, I know we about to move on. That's a great question, bro. What's that? Because I just ran into this. The rest in peace t-shirt yeah. What do you do with it? Because it just feels disrespectful to do anything with it.
Speaker 1:Don't your niggas be saying I'm going to put you on one.
Speaker 4:No, so we ain't talking street shit.
Speaker 1:You already got put on one.
Speaker 4:I'm saying the family wore matching shirts.
Speaker 1:It's already done. I got you. You already got put on one.
Speaker 4:It's on there Talking to Grandma somebody important though what do you do with it? Do you just keep it forever Because?
Speaker 1:you can, oh snap, yeah, you put that in the box that go in the attic. Okay, I just wanted to frame it.
Speaker 5:Yeah, my boy said, frame it. Okay, I like that. We're going to put up and frame it, Frame it.
Speaker 1:We got our first one. Y'all Don't wait until it get dingy. We got our first call in. All right, bring them up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, to send a voicem.
Speaker 1:Yo B-Dub, how we doing, doing good. We're glad to have you here, man, go ahead. I know you read the question of the day. Which question are you going over? If not both, then give us your response.
Speaker 4:We didn't tell the people what the question was.
Speaker 1:Oh, I apologize. You know what we did not. So, guys, we do have a question of the day. If you could Rob Ski the questions of the day, alright, we're going to start out with this one, though. Uh, what's a red flag for you when you meet a man or woman? So this is a man calling it yes b-dub what's a red flag for you in meeting a woman?
Speaker 3:a red flag, just smoking and drinking for me. Smoking and drinking, that's a red flag for me.
Speaker 1:Clarify for us Smoking and drinking. What about smoking and drinking?
Speaker 3:Just because I don't smoke or drink.
Speaker 1:So I look at it as a rare okay, so you want someone similar who also doesn't smoke or drink yeah it sound like your ass drunk hey, I wasn't gonna say that if y'all could see my face, I was like Nah, be there though, so I can hit a footer right now. So let me ask you this. So you said smoking and drinking, so what if she I mean, what if she bad and she hit a little hookah lit and you know what I'm saying and she drank a little cognac?
Speaker 3:You ain't going to take it there, well, no. So that was a red flag for me, but it's like she's bad regardless. I ain't dealing with that, but drinking. And I got a couple like everybody drinking now, but like now she's an alcoholic, like that's. I don't care who, I don't care how bad she is. I don't care how bad she is, I don't care.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:It can be bad, it don't matter.
Speaker 1:Gotcha Understood, understood. Do we have another question on here? Yeah, the other one is what's the first thing you say when you get caught lying or cheating?
Speaker 3:Well, I always say if I, ever, if I, if I cheating, lying or cheating, pretty much I, I'm not, I'm not if I don't get caught cheating, y'all can talk to each other. I ain't got nothing to say. They can talk to each other.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's cold-blooded Now she called you.
Speaker 4:She don't know about the other chick, so it's just you and her.
Speaker 3:Oh, it's just me and her.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Oh, I ain't saying nothing. Nah you just you gonna have to give me all you gonna have to give me all you gonna have to give. Give me a lot of what I did, because what we ain't going to do is waste it. I'm bringing that up to you to talk about a little friendly joke. She leaving your ass bro.
Speaker 1:She out of here, let me ask you real quick. What generation are you from?
Speaker 3:Definitely. What generation are you from? I'm over 40, so I don't know the generation you were born in the 70s, 60s, 80s, the 80s 80s Okay.
Speaker 1:Okay, got you. Yeah, man cheating is done in 4K now, bro they going to report it for six up.
Speaker 3:They going to show you how it is. Yeah, I don't use no social media. I'm a different type. I sell all that stuff. So that 4K shit, they're going to have to kill me. I'm sorry they're going to have to kill me on the way, boy, because I don't be on the internet, none of the social media, so yeah.
Speaker 4:You may not be but your side chick is your side chick might be. She done, posted the shit out of you.
Speaker 3:They recording folks, they got glasses that record B-Dub.
Speaker 1:let me ask you this? Question B-Dub.
Speaker 3:You got an iPhone or Android, I got an iPhone.
Speaker 1:You got an iPhone iPhone.
Speaker 4:Oh yeah, it's Android slander. Here it's up, we slander.
Speaker 1:I had to make sure, because the way you chopping it I didn't know. I thought you was on that S20, god damn it. But hey, we appreciate you here, man. And no cap in my rap, man, b-dub man. Y'all shout out to B-Dub man.
Speaker 3:We appreciate you, brother, appreciate you checking in with us brother. All right have so let's, let's.
Speaker 4:I want to hear you on that second part, you getting caught up. What's going down?
Speaker 2:all right, so a little backstory, because I knew michael's gonna pull this out of me. Um, so I was married for 17 years and in the midst of that 17 years I cheated for 11.
Speaker 1:Hold on, I need you to get back in that mic. When you said that you kind of screwed up.
Speaker 2:My bad, I cheated for 11. Out of how many 17.
Speaker 1:We got to sit back.
Speaker 2:Hold on Get comfortable. So he started cheating first, of course.
Speaker 4:Uh-huh, no, hold on, don't of, of course. Uh, no, no, hold on, don't of course it don't do that.
Speaker 2:I mean, at the end of the day, I mean, you know, hey, it is, how'd you?
Speaker 1:know? Did you catch him or how'd you know? Behavior change so you didn't have no evidence no evidence.
Speaker 4:So how far into the 17 did you? You catch him first uh, probably the first.
Speaker 2:I was around about seven months pregnant, so maybe eight, nine months in to the relationship, so that wasn't even even like serious here, other than being pregnant yeah, okay and then you said you didn't catch him I, I did, but I didn't so
Speaker 4:she caught the energy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was the behavior changes you started out calling me every day on lunch break. Then those phone calls got slower until they became non-existent. And then, because I had a relationship with his family, I was able to call and fact check, telling me you on the phone with this person. Damn. Call this person. They ain't heard from you all day.
Speaker 1:So the family snitched his ass out Pretty much. He wasn't covering his tracks, but this was in the first year, though. Right, right, why y'all stay together? Why did we?
Speaker 4:stay together 16 from there.
Speaker 2:Well, first baby, first pregnancy. Didn't really know no better Was young Gotcha. I had the idea of if I do this, he'll do this. So if I act this way, or change my behavior or be more of this, then he'll come around, he'll get right, right, no, it didn't happen. Kept having kids, kept taking them back, which is that was the pattern.
Speaker 1:So he eventually got caught.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean he eventually admitted it. He admitted to it. Oh, okay, eventually got caught. Yeah, I mean he eventually admitted it when he admitted to okay. So once I reached out to his family member and they was like no, I ain't talking to him, that's when I called him, was like okay, you want some shit. And then that's when I mean, at this point you might as well just admit to it so six years in, you was like you had enough six years in dealing with the constant cheating?
Speaker 1:yes, why you ain't just leave then because I wanted my family.
Speaker 2:I had both my parents growing up. I wanted my kids to have that. I shielded them from a lot of stuff that was happening, so they didn't know. Um, so growing up, all they knew was what they saw, which was the lifestyle that we provided for them, which was this happy family yeah but we dealt with or yeah, we both dealt with the pain on the backside, but we never displayed that to what we thought we wasn't displaying to our children that's some shit my grandparents used to talk about but then, as time went on, I just got to like I said we you check out, you know, I'm saying, and that's what happened.
Speaker 2:This guy was in the right place, right time and I pretty much didn't have nothing else left for my relationship. And that's when my segment started, so to speak, segment Segment, that's when my segment started.
Speaker 4:And what year was that of the relationship?
Speaker 2:That was six years in.
Speaker 1:So he didn't know. 11 years of you cheating. He didn't know, he know. So y'all just stayed together out of what Out of me.
Speaker 2:For me, I can't speak for him. For me, it was more so of convincing myself that I couldn't be without him financially.
Speaker 1:So y'all didn't talk about it. Y'all both knew each other was cheating, but y'all didn't talk about why are we still together?
Speaker 2:yeah, we talked about it we pretty much too at some point decided that we we knew that we were settling. We had that conversation like I'm just gonna stay with you because I don't feel like getting to know nobody else and dealing with they shit and learning about them, and so we just gonna be together and till we die, that's.
Speaker 2:But then I started working with Mike here and uh was telling him a little bit about what I had going on. He knew I was married, he knew I was on some fuck shit and he just basically had that conversation with me like bro, when are you gonna choose yourself? Like, when you gonna pick yourself you? I'm saying Like your kids will be okay, they will be fine. So 2020 came and I was getting ready to turn 40 and I was like I can't. I, this is my only life. I don't get to come back and do this shit again. Am I going to spend the next 20 years being somewhere I know I don't want to be, for the sake of the finances or for the sake of my kids? For the sake of the finances or for the sake of my kids? And in hindsight, not really knowing my kids wanted, they were ready for me to leave because once we told them that we were separated, my oldest child was like thank God.
Speaker 2:So, everything that we thought we were shielding them from. They was like nah, nigga, we know y'all on some bullshit.
Speaker 4:You can't shield in the house, nah, you can't. It's impossible.
Speaker 1:And you said 11 years straight Hell, everybody know, everybody, yeah, the energy too.
Speaker 4:fucked up, yeah, everybody. But I think that's why this conversation is good, because it's so many people that think they're hiding shit. Your kids grow as you grow.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 4:So what you was hiding to a five-year-old?
Speaker 2:to a five-year-old. They now 10. Don't get them to teenage years. They know every fucking thing. I mean, I'll never forget when I we had got into it and I put them out and my daughter came in and she had been like five and she was like mama, he'll take the trash out the next time and I'm like that ain't even why. You know that's part of it, but that's not even why. Like you, you know, but to know that she even observed that part. You know what I'm saying. So no, you're not hiding anything from your kids. They're very smart.
Speaker 1:Once y'all agree that we're just together, just to be together, y'all still sleep with each other. That's crazy, and other people More so me than him.
Speaker 3:How you know that.
Speaker 2:Once we got married, he stopped. I started.
Speaker 1:Once wait. That's crazy. Wait, wait, wait, wait a minute, wait a minute. I need you to say that again, I, want to talk to him Because I'm like I do too.
Speaker 2:He will talk to you, he will tell you he's an open book.
Speaker 4:I can't do it On the next pod On the next episode of no Cap in my Rap.
Speaker 1:So I want you to say, please, I want you to say what you said again, because it threw me. You said when y'all got married, he stopped. He stopped what Cheating when y'all got married. I mean, ain't that what you're supposed to, goddamn do?
Speaker 2:Yeah, You're supposed to stop, and then I started.
Speaker 4:She was over you. So then that leads to why'd you accept the proposal? Why'd you go into the marriage?
Speaker 1:to then start, Let me ask you two before you do the answer to that what year did y'all get married?
Speaker 2:2006.
Speaker 1:So six years in seven years.
Speaker 2:We met in 2003. I got pregnant 2003. I had my first child in 2004.
Speaker 1:So yeah, it was 2006 when I had my son. We got married. Okay, three years ago.
Speaker 4:So shit, you cheated, but not in the beginning, so you went because you said six years, right, so the first three years of the marriage the first the, so he cheated for the first six.
Speaker 2:So from 2003 to like 2009 oh, okay and then I started in 2010, so he cheated while y'all was married, though he was entertaining. He wasn't. I hear a lot of. I hear a lot of allegations going on, he wasn't sleeping, but this is stuff that I saw with my own eyes. I got you Emails, text messages, stuff like that Okay, so we got proof.
Speaker 4:Yeah, okay, because earlier when I asked that you was like.
Speaker 1:It sounded like an allegation, but it sounded like you had proof. No, she was just speaking to the first time I got you it kindled. Nick's three years was just entertainment. And six years in he stopped and he was like you know what? I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 2:I'm done.
Speaker 1:But then the ring got on your finger. The ring was there for the Before, but she's saying he was entertaining other women still.
Speaker 2:So we got engaged In 2005. I hadn't started cheating, so 2005 you were still faithful like a no I mean
Speaker 1:I asked this and this is where women don't get upset with me, but I have to ask this um, don't you feel like, yeah, he cheated on, but you still loved him?
Speaker 2:No, I love the image of my family.
Speaker 1:I understand that. So it sounds like the love left a long time ago.
Speaker 2:Yes, the love left the first time he decided to touch somebody else.
Speaker 1:It's tough, that's hard, but I feel like I can love you and still this is going to sound crazy, but I feel like I can love you and still it's going to sound crazy, but I feel like I can love you still, because I didn't love the other person I fucked off. That's a man's, but the way Women don't think like that. But the way she moved, though, it felt like it, though for a second when she said she married him after the fact.
Speaker 4:Well, I think once you turn the true love off, yeah, it's just moving. At that point I don't think it's man or woman, I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1:There's a difference between loving someone and being in love.
Speaker 4:I care enough to want this family to work. I'll put time in to see if it'll get better. Then you look up it's 11 years later.
Speaker 1:I think it's common, unfortunately, it goes back to what we talked about when we first started today's episode love and affection yeah, yeah, it's miss affection is being in love, loving someone. I can just make sure you eat, I can make sure your clothes are washed, I make sure the bills pay because I love you. I don't want you to be on the street, but.
Speaker 4:But I agree, but I also want to be on the street, but I agree. But I also want to say, though, the love and in love gets taken out of context, because life happens and in a long-term relationship you're not going to be head over heels in love with that person every fucking day.
Speaker 1:Well, no, that's infatuation.
Speaker 4:No, I'm saying, like me and you have been in a long-term relationship. If you ask me, am I in love with you? Our life could be fucked up in that moment and I will say no, but that don't mean I don't care about you. You know what I'm saying, like just in that moment. It also doesn't mean I'm going to do something fucked up. So I'm just saying for longevity, for longevity, you gotta communicate out of that shit. What happens is you sit in that rut, you just accept it, the comings and goings, you accept this motherfucker ain't gonna change, but you're not expressing your emotions anymore. And then you check the fuck out and then, instead of leaving you slide. It all stems from our points that we always make.
Speaker 1:You got to talk through it, got to communicate your feelings because and I like that too because, uh, that's why I was saying I think a lot of people also confuse uh, being in love with infatuation, like when you first early on, yeah, when you first get with someone and, like you said, head over heels, like you want to touch them all the time, you want to cuddle a big spoon, little spoon every night, like, oh shit, when you first get when you first get with someone.
Speaker 1:It's like you can't get enough of that person yeah right? Um, if you've been with somebody for a long ass time, those are infatuation, that initial lust phase that does go away. Yeah, you might sleep back to back. You're not cutting everything.
Speaker 4:Majority of the time.
Speaker 1:But that doesn't mean that y'all two are not still in love.
Speaker 4:No, 100%. I'm just saying what we view it, as. I'm in love with you because I'm true to you, but I may not do the same shit that I got you to be in love with me and people take that shit wrong. It's time, it's life, it's kids, it's your job, it's. You could just be unhappy internally and your partner will look at you like you don't love me. No, I ain't got shit to do with you. I'm fucked up, but I didn't express that either.
Speaker 1:There it is and then.
Speaker 4:so now I as a man, my wife don't want me. Well, motherfucker, you in a piss poor mood. You hate your life, you hate your job.
Speaker 2:How I not take it personal, because you ain't expressing that shit as a woman. We take everything personal. The first thing she's going to think is it's her.
Speaker 4:Correct, it don't matter, but that's where that communication comes in as a man, but that's where that communication comes in All ties back to communication.
Speaker 2:Talking to talk means nothing.
Speaker 4:Having those hard conversations Every day or when you see it's off. Don't let that shit fester. Hey, what's wrong? Why we off? And if you've been with somebody a long time you get that. You know that nothing. That's bullshit.
Speaker 1:Nothing I'm good.
Speaker 4:Nothing I'm good, I hate that, but you got to know and got to call that shit out. Don't accept it. If you be like, okay, and go about your business, y'all going to stay fucked up.
Speaker 1:A lot of people don't like being called out.
Speaker 4:I don't give a fuck. I love you enough to fuck this day up because we going to fix this shit, I won't be happy.
Speaker 1:That's my shit though.
Speaker 4:Right bro I in order for us to fix this? Yeah, Because I need tomorrow to be better.
Speaker 1:Tomorrow got to be better.
Speaker 4:That's it. That's in love to me.
Speaker 1:That's in love.
Speaker 4:I love you enough that I know shit's fucked up. I'm willing to just set the house on fire today, so we can be good tomorrow. And I'm going to extinguish the fire and then tomorrow I'm going to be beautiful Because Fight me, not for real.
Speaker 1:We don't condone domestic violence.
Speaker 4:Get that shit off your chest.
Speaker 2:You have to. I don't want to go to bed angry, and that's what my fiance said. I don't give a fuck if you mad at me. I'm going to grab your ass and I'm going to hold you and we can go to sleep. I'm the type I can't sleep If we ain't talk about this shit. I'm not going to sleep.
Speaker 4:I got something with that too, because I agree, but your partner might not be the same. So not speaking for your relationship, but I want to get this shit done today. My partner may need to process, think about it, talk about it tomorrow. If that's not expressed, I'll take it personally why you don't want to fix this shit. A lot of people need a little time and once I realized that with my wife she want to think about it I don't want to say the wrong thing in the heat of the moment. That shit used to bother the fuck out of me. We grown, let's fucking talk, let's get it out. She like look man, every time you force me, this shit go bad, bad. We saying shit, we, you know the mood, energy change. Let's just give me a second. Once I realized I accept that shit and she come back and we talk about it, she got better, a lot easier.
Speaker 1:We was younger too though Some people don't process as fast.
Speaker 4:Yeah, but you got to recognize that your emotions, your thoughts. I might not even really know what the fuck I'm mad about. Yet give me a second. And another thing too. Sometimes the other person just didn't understand what the fuck you said and they took it a certain way, made them feel a certain way. Don't say it now. Y'all fucked up. And one person don't even know.
Speaker 1:Y'all fucked up you ever had a situation where you didn't even hear what you thought you heard?
Speaker 4:all the time. That's what I mean.
Speaker 1:I said something totally different Like the words that you said back to me. I didn't even say All the time.
Speaker 4:Rob, that shit is crazy, I swear. I'm like. I mean just say it in that moment. Why the fuck did you say that I didn't?
Speaker 2:Yeah, let me say verbatim what I that doesn't. You know, it's not delivered. Well, let me change how I said it, let me change the words, but then that person has to allow you the opportunity to change 100 and like with me, for instance, and that's, that's love, that's what exactly my fiance said. He made a comment one time and he said your sex drive a driving nigga away. I took it as an insult I'm like damn, like that's some fucked up shit you know I'm saying, I'm like wow, like well, nigga, let me just scale it back.
Speaker 2:Some you know I'm saying, but then, after we had the conversation and I told him because I wanted him to explain it, I didn't want to just be like oh, that's fucked up, you know, you ain't got to worry about it, no more.
Speaker 2:you know, I need you to explain it to me because that hurt my feelings. That made me feel some type of way, and he was like, basically, what I'm saying is, a man who's not secure with his sexuality cannot handle you. I would say that because that made me feel bad. Yeah, that was two different things.
Speaker 1:That was two different things. Right, I'm like. You know, I was trying to figure out I understand why he said that, though why put me on game? He had to clarify it for her yeah, because we process shit differently, everybody process. When she said it, I knew exactly what he meant, but it didn't register for her and that's what's important.
Speaker 4:It didn't register for me either, I mean, but again, everybody process shit different everybody, and you process your life different, like the last woman I was with, especially somebody coming out of a long-term relationship. They're not seeing a lot of people, they're not interacting on a relationship level outside of this one person. I'm basing everything in the early stages of our relationship on that. If you're totally opposite of the previous person I was with, I'm fucked up. I don't know how to say that, though.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we ran into a lot of that. I don't know how to say that though.
Speaker 4:Yeah, we ran into a lot of that. Yeah, it's just, it's natural human reaction because life looked this way. So long that's all you know. That's all.
Speaker 1:The only lens I have and it fucks people up. I got deep right there. I'll tell you what. You fun as hell. You understand everything and you explain things. Well Me, I'm the type of person just hearing y'all. That's why sometimes y'all might hear me a little bit quiet, because I'm really, when y'all be talking, y'all, like I love listening to y'all for real, when y'all, because that right there I just heard something totally different.
Speaker 5:I heard one thing and knew what the fuck going on.
Speaker 1:That's why I heard rob hurt with shit, rob hurts and shit right, just take sex off the date. I'm trying to figure, I'm still trying to figure that out. I heard that too, but then I'm like, well, nah, he can't be telling you that because that just ain't right. So then makes sense. And then what you heard, you, you the old, I heard exactly what he said when he came back and fixed it for her. I knew that already.
Speaker 4:Well, I understood that when he came back and fixed it. Yeah, cause to me it was just life.
Speaker 1:I ain't used to this I got you.
Speaker 4:That's what he was saying. I got you okay.
Speaker 1:I'm not used to all this cushy that's what he was saying.
Speaker 2:I got you and I didn't take it that way.
Speaker 1:I didn't understand it. That way, it's okay.
Speaker 4:And you know what? Me, because I do this shit all the time, bro. You just say it, say it, we do, and it ain't processed. It's just words coming out your mouth, they just come out. You ain't even thinking about how somebody else could take what you're saying.
Speaker 1:Sometimes men speak in slogans.
Speaker 4:Hey, so yesterday we ate lunch at bishops, uh-huh. So my wife was getting drinks, old ass man staring her down. He looks and I'm so I see her face and she looking like puzzled. Oh, white dude, she's like man. This man is looking through me like he. If you wasn't here he might snatch me. I was like his wife with him. Nah, that don't matter to him. So it's a dude, a young black dude ordering, picking up a uber eats order. He's standing, you know, bishop, small. So he right next to us. I'm just being myself. I go well, let's see how much he's willing to pay to take your ass. Of course, joking Dude don't know me. The way he looked at me was like this motherfucker's crazy, do something. Nah, the young dude like damn, he just going to offer his wife up like that. And I was just joking like you were playing. Yeah, dude, had his Dockers on, had his shirt tucked in. He might have had a bag, I don't know like.
Speaker 1:I was so. Did he have a number? Who the dude? The white man?
Speaker 4:nah, I didn't talk to him. Nah, he was moving. Oh, okay, like they was walking away, I was about to say you ax his ass, what he?
Speaker 1:say what he say my ass was like hey, how many zeros we talking about.
Speaker 4:My wife did say she's going to start hanging out at Bishop's on Sundays. I'm like, look man, get you the old motherfucker who his dick don't work, just get the money, get the bag. Yeah, if he willing to pay, just no ditty, I ain't watching.
Speaker 1:That's crazy. Speaking of, actually, you said something earlier. I just wanted to touch on it real quick. It was a thought in my mind, spooning Y'all like being a little spoon sometimes. I don't like when you call it that. Yeah, what do you want to call it? You like being? You like being cuddled from the back from your old lady. I don't like when you say it like that what he's saying is he like it.
Speaker 2:He just don't like how you work and we like affection man we talk about affection we gotta get out of that.
Speaker 1:Hold on to you. That sounds crazy, but yeah, I ain't lying. I feel like if it's a woman, it's okay.
Speaker 2:It might be cold.
Speaker 1:I don't lie. That's one of the best feelings when I'm warm and you're cold and you just come on and warm with me. I'm like I don't know it's. It was just a thought real quick when she said something I don't know, man don't put your cold ass feet on me, bro I think we were just talking about where.
Speaker 1:Uh, maybe I'm mad, maybe I didn't have a good day and I laid down and you came behind me and put your arms around me and cuddled me to make me feel better, like I may feel good. You know, I'm saying I don't. Don't come and say I'm finna, little spoon, you don't do that yeah, what I, what I tried to start doing is uh come home.
Speaker 4:When, when, when my wife asked me what's wrong she see something or she feel it instead of me trying to process it or internalize it, I just say I need a hug just to settle that. Like, maybe I don't want to talk about it, but just a hug right now.
Speaker 1:I take hugs too. If I need a hug, I'm coming to get them?
Speaker 4:Oh no for sure. Like when I leave, you got to stand up, I got to rub your booty for my day to be better.
Speaker 1:I need this hug before I leave this house.
Speaker 4:For sure.
Speaker 1:I need a hug when I come in the house. I I need a hug when I come in the house. I need to do better than you.
Speaker 2:You don't like hugs, I love hugs. Give me a hug, dre, when he get ready to go to work.
Speaker 1:I'm oh, you want to you kissing him.
Speaker 2:It's 3 o'clock in the morning. I mean y'all know what I'm saying it happens, everything applies.
Speaker 1:If I get up and go to work and you still asleep, I'm, if we both up.
Speaker 4:To me, affection is connection. I know we good because we affectionate. I hate whoever mad not really mad bothered. And you just walk by me. That shit's like fuck, that I'm slapping you on your ass.
Speaker 1:I like that type, I like that shit, though. I like when you can be mad, you're going to still give me that coochie, though when you mad, though, I'm cool with it. I like that. I like knowing you pissed off at me and I'm still gonna hit this thing, I don't care, because you still want it. You ain't never had that happen. Like she mad at you, you mad at her, but we still, finna, do the do like we still finna like make up sex. Yeah, I kind of. You know I'm respectful.
Speaker 4:You know what I'm saying. The code is how you get in the bed. That's been. The code is how you get in the bed.
Speaker 1:That's been our thing. How you get in the bed.
Speaker 4:Yeah, if you get in like and you used to be tired, we ain't got to be into it, but like the signal is, you get in this bed naked, it can go down, or you're scantily dressed.
Speaker 2:Is that?
Speaker 4:the signal for you. Yeah, like I know the with it. But you get. You know you pull out the grandma pajamas. I know you on some other time. Your mind ain't, I ain't take, I ain't undressing you, we in the bed. I ain't got time for that.
Speaker 1:Shit, you ain't, bro. What up you ain't, you ain't. Is it a signal? Is it always?
Speaker 2:a signal.
Speaker 1:We were talking. We're talking about being upset right if.
Speaker 4:I know you're upset and you get in the bed on purpose with all your fucking clothes on.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, bullshit, fuck you outfits. No, we're going to bed yeah, we're going to bed.
Speaker 4:I'm not fighting you, bro, I got you. I got you that's what I was saying. I got you anyway.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't, I don't okay okay, for the record, I wouldn't say that I was taking no, we weren't saying you at that moment.
Speaker 4:now, at that moment, nah, I'm pissed off too, hey, because that's a thing too. Though what's that Motherfucker will?
Speaker 1:take it Like, take it from the person they with. Yeah, I ain't that deep.
Speaker 2:I enjoy it. It shouldn't be.
Speaker 1:I enjoy consensual sex. I'll beat that thing like I owe you money and roll over. I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 4:It'll be money and roll over. I don't give a fuck, Nah. I don't want no corpse, bro. I don't want you. I need energy, baby. I need energy, bro, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dead pussy is born pussy I don't want that. It ain't worth it. Keep that shit.
Speaker 4:Like I'll wake you up, but you got to wake up.
Speaker 1:If you stay sleeping. This ain't you know. Hold on, you got to wake up though that pissed me off. I ain't going to lie Now you done. Rubbed up on me all night, got your ass on me. I'm asleep Like when I'm tired, I'm knocked the fuck out. So you rubbing that thang on me and then he get up, and then I get up in you and you ready to go, you ready to go. But if I initiate and you sleep, you know, the trick I always like to do is the two-finger stinger, the two-finger stinger.
Speaker 4:Yeah, two fingers and a stinger. And I'm going to know, you know how, I know you immature, you name and shit motherfucker.
Speaker 1:I got a name for every goddamn thing. Who do you say this shit to? To y'all Two-finger stinger.
Speaker 2:You said this shit to To y'all, no To y'all.
Speaker 4:Two finger stingers you said this shit before, bro, like before today, two fingers.
Speaker 1:Who the fuck did you say?
Speaker 4:this I'm a two finger sting you.
Speaker 1:Sting you with my tooth. I'm a two finger. Sting you. You told somebody this shit. Who?
Speaker 4:do you?
Speaker 1:say this shit to.
Speaker 1:I definitely, I definitely Listen, I'm a two finger sting you Pink, pink, call it good Bucko, you're out of control. Woo, what we, what we guys, I want to go into. I want to go into because I think that was that was a really good segue into let's go into values and morals. Y'all. I want to go into our values and morals and we can actually mix it together with the other segment, the generation that y'all are in, and even the younger generation in their 20s values and morals and how. I don't think people, I don't think people. My age, no, no, let me take it back. I'm 30. Hold the fuck up, I'm 31. I don't think these YNs got any morals or values for women and I don't think these young girls got any values or morals for these YNs. I think, truly, truly, I don't think they have respect for each other and love for each other. They don't know how to show it. I was just thinking about this.
Speaker 4:This is social media General. Yeah, we got to take ownership, and I'm going to speak to the 40s in the room, just like we said about our parents. They didn't teach me this, they didn't do this. Then raise your kids differently and I would say that to you. I know your son, young Rob, kids differently and I would say that to you. I know your son, young um rob, on that type of time. I know he got younger children. You really gotta take ownership on in your house first. The world is the world, but what? What are you putting into it? And that starts with your children and how you're raising them in the conversations you're having, because respect is free. So we're watching all these young men and women be disrespectful to each other themselves. Who's teaching them what respect is? Who's teaching them what love is? Who's teaching them what to expect from another person?
Speaker 2:Who's teaching them accountability.
Speaker 4:Yeah, who the fuck is getting their life lessons from the internet. Your kids should be laughing at that shit like you doing as an adult. But if they think that's life, that's on you. And then they just go out here and just wild out and everybody laugh at it and put it on Worldstar and Instagram. I got older and started wanting to see kids act a fool Not that I know the kids, it's just like. God damn bro, Especially our community. I'm tired of seeing black kids look a fucking fool online. Man, Say something.
Speaker 1:They damn sure doing that.
Speaker 4:So what I do is like man, your friends come over, I'm talking to them too. They getting this smoke. I don't give a, they can laugh.
Speaker 1:I don't care what that. What that sounds like is putting putting the things that they see online in context in real life context yeah so, all right, they watch a rap music video and they like it cool. Once this video is over, let's talk about it. Yeah, what did you see? What did you get from that? Yeah, for sure, and having those conversations, those dialogues with your children so they can understand and react the reality. That person in that music video is an entertainer yeah correct.
Speaker 1:They're not really doing that shit in real life because if they were, they wouldn't have any money and they wouldn't be free out to even make that video. So having those type of conversations like you're going to go to jail, you're going to ruin somebody else's life, including your own. Nobody's going to want to hire you if you look like that.
Speaker 1:You're not the likelihood of you getting all these face tattoos and becoming a rapper, or entertainer, like it's one in a million, you're most likely going to have to get a job. You know what I'm saying. Like having those real conversations with your children and even like nieces and nephews any child that is in your inner circle or inner household.
Speaker 4:Have the conversation.
Speaker 1:Have those conversations with them.
Speaker 4:Talk about respect they want to do these TikTok dances.
Speaker 1:All right, cool. After the TikTok dance is over, what conversations are you having with these children that look up to you? You have the availability to have these conversations with. Are you actually having those conversations?
Speaker 4:Tell the young ladies hey, respect yourself first. Tell the young ladies, hey, respect yourself first. Tell the young men what you see a reality man like kids, gonna be kids because adults allow them to be. If you don't, if you don't hone in what reality is like, I'll give you an example I hate do as I say, not as I do. This is a grown person conversation. If your child is saying something to you, it's their conversation.
Speaker 4:Now you need to say something more than that yeah because they can google this shit or they can talk to a stupid ass person in schools yeah they're gonna get the information now. They're gonna figure it out, have the conversation. Don't run from it because you think they, uh, too young or not old enough now.
Speaker 2:They old enough once they start talking about it and that's one thing that I pride myself on with my kids. We have always created an open door policy for them. So what, I don't care what it is. Whatever you want to talk about, sex friends, I it doesn't. There's no limits to me as your mother or your father that you can't come to us about anything it'd be hard though you have to, you have to what's the challenging part about?
Speaker 1:I'm just well, I can't. I can't speak as a father calling got a student, he'll be three. He'll be three. This damn he'll be three. This damn fr. Won't he Hold on? Let me look.
Speaker 4:Let me.
Speaker 1:Look Shit, hold on man Alexander happy birthday. He'll be three this Friday. So he's only three. He'll be three this Friday. So I can't speak as a father, but as someone that of course, we've all been kids. As a son, as a son, I feel like it's hard to really like have that conversation with adults. Why? Why was it? It was hard for me because it was hard for me for a lot of different reasons. Because one and let's talk about what age, though- see my kids is 21, 19 and 17 okay, so at 21 I've been talking about
Speaker 4:they can't start there. I've been talking to them ever since they no I didn't start there.
Speaker 2:I've been talking to them ever since they could understand.
Speaker 1:Once they talking bro 10, like 9, 8, 7, 10. I feel like as a child it's easier because you're still, at least for me, like you said, do as I say, listen. I know we weren't supposed to, but I was conditioned that way.
Speaker 4:Grown folks. Grown folks talk. A lot of people are Don't, don't, don't, hey, move around. That's my point to why are we taking that shit to this generation?
Speaker 1:And I want to say too they have it on their phone bro I think there's a value to the statement. I'm not going to say that it didn't have any value. I think some people overuse it, don't come back around and explain the context of why it was even said and they use that as their only discipline or their only direction.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it's to stop a conversation. Yeah.
Speaker 1:You should never do that.
Speaker 4:No.
Speaker 1:Sometimes it might be urgent. Like don't get hit by this car. Like I don't have time to explain to you why I don't play in the street, just do what the fuck I said Like there's some context where it's needed. In this moment, I don't want you to get kidnapped like yeah, even in that though the double back you double back and and have the conversation when it's safe or when everything's settled down.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna explain why that was said, but I think a lot of people use it as their curse to where you said prevent conversations from happening. You're doing that hell, yeah, then yeah because, because a lot of times the parent would always say why do I got to explain something to you as a child?
Speaker 4:I understand now it's wrong, I do. I understand now it's wrong and the value of teaching your children through your failures Correct. So if your standard is perfection, your kid is looking at you like you, acting like you was perfect, and then you don't talk about your failures or what you did wrong. They got a bypass living up to their expectation because they've already fucked up. You got to be on the level of I fucked up too, I've been here.
Speaker 1:Let me tell you a story.
Speaker 4:Learn through my mistakes so you don't have to go through them. Versus shut the fucking lip, just shut the fuck up listen to me, that's bullshit.
Speaker 1:I wish I wish I had like the um adults or role models that you have in your life 100 I wish I didn't have to make all these mistakes.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I wish I had someone pulling my coattails every time to prevent me from falling versus me falling and then because if you, if you teaching your kid to shut the fuck up, what do you think happens when they go and run into somebody that's tougher than them? They got a bigger mouth, they shutting the fuck up and getting ran over if they school, they're gonna be their employee at work.
Speaker 4:They're gonna be that person in the relationship they're gonna be afraid to. You know, have a healthy conversation with somebody who knows how to talk, because you told them to shut up every time they challenged something and they never learned how to use their vocabulary.
Speaker 1:But I will say, because I was that kid that was told to shut the fuck up, but I was also that kid that had a lot of aggression and I was also that kid when my dad told me to shut the fuck up. My mom told me to shut the fuck up. Best believe. It was anger built up and I wasn't the kid that when somebody that was on the same level me told me to shut the fuck up, now you can't tell me shut the fuck up. We on the same side and I grew up, I guess, respecting my elders, but we couldn't. You couldn't be somebody walking in the same shoes, me telling me to be quiet but you're a minority in that.
Speaker 4:Okay, I got you. So think about the world now the soft person, the quiet person. You're not born quiet, right, you were chastised into being quiet.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was A lot of people. Yeah, some people don't know how to deal with that. I get you.
Speaker 4:Yeah. So the kid in the house, the mama kept you away from everything. The world opens up at some point. That's my cousin, I feel you. So if you're raising the child to only be okay this certain way, look, I don't want my kid not to be able to talk to me. I want you to be mad at me and say it. I want you to not agree with me and say it, because you're going to run into disrespectful people who don't care about you and I don't want them to just run you over.
Speaker 4:Facts, but if facts, but if you don't get it at home, where you gonna get it from? I don't want my kid to be the soft one that can't handle confrontation. That ain't even a confrontation. It's a kid talking shit and you scared so they get it.
Speaker 1:So I didn't get. I'm telling you. This is why I think that's cool, because I didn't get. That's why I asked what was challenging for you? What was it they? They was telling you to shut the fuck up. Yeah, be quiet. You're a child. Stop talking. This ain't for you to hear, this ain't for you to be quiet, nobody ever looping around and saying let's see. We got a caller. Okay, Y'all ready. We had a caller for the they dropping in. Here we go For the question. For the question Caller caller.
Speaker 1:Call hello caller it might be. Hold on, we're gonna do this. We're gonna do this, we're gonna do this. We got a caller calling in for for those. We're gonna do it like this make it easier. We're gonna touch back on that. I think that's a good point, because I was that child. Why are you working on that? I just want to clarify that the initial ask was about values and morals, correct? So I know it may not sound like we answered that question, but I believe that we're talking about specific values and morals.
Speaker 4:Yeah, because it starts there and builds up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we have as men, women, parents, children. At one point we were all somebody's child. Yeah, children at one point we were all somebody's child. So you feel like when you're creating values and morals in children the children that you're raising. This is where it begins. Is that what you're saying? 100%?
Speaker 4:Correct. Well, I think it speaks to everything we talk about. So like just going back to not expressing yourself how you feel. If you grew up in that house, that said, shut the fuck up. That's where it started. You weren't able to express how you feel. Then you get in a relationship and someone's asking you what's wrong, how do I help you, and you don't have answers.
Speaker 2:And then you start having kids. It's a cycle.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's what I mean. You feel like that's what's happening now, a hundred percent.
Speaker 4:My A hundred percent Like my mom was a single mom, didn't have time when I was younger to let me express myself. We fought until I was 12 years old and I was like, hey, it's over with, I'll take the whooping, I'll take the punishment, I'm getting this shit off my chest.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. I did the exact same thing in 12. Was the magic For you too, was that with your mom? Yeah, yeah, absolutely for you too was that with your? Was that with your mom?
Speaker 4:yeah, yeah, absolutely so until that point it was like I can't speak man, I'm a human being, like I understand. I respect you, you're taking care of me, but it was also your choice to have me, not the other way around. I just want to express myself as a person. I don't like this. I don't want to do this. Why is that wrong? See I I know most people can't I'm not going for that my mama gave us, that she was like.
Speaker 2:You know, if you disagree with something that I'm saying or you not cool with something I'm saying, you can come talk to me, but you gonna do it respectfully yeah and that's how. That's the same thing. Because my mama was open, my family so that's what I gave my. I gave my kids a little bit more than what my mama gave.
Speaker 4:And that's how it should be.
Speaker 2:And so, like I said, with mine there's nothing that they can come and talk to. I don't want my child to have to go to somebody else when she was getting ready to have sex or whatever.
Speaker 2:I want you to be able to come to me and have that conversation, because they're not going to give you the information that you need. Yeah, but I'm going to give it to you, I'll take it. We need what you want birth control, what we need to do. We're gonna have that conversation. I don't ever want my kids to feel like, no, I can't come and I can't talk to her about that.
Speaker 2:I don't give a fuck if it's a sexual position. You got questions about it. I'm gonna we're gonna have that conversation because I don't want you out here listening to somebody else who done sat here and watched porn their whole life and they think this is how they supposed to have sex I agree no, I'm gonna give you, I'm gonna answer those questions it's difficult, difficult.
Speaker 4:It could be weird, but accept the challenge because you're somebody's mom or dad.
Speaker 1:I'm going to do that and I think I'm going to change my mindset with that for my son. But I think I want to ask this question what's your mom giving you and having that feedback with you and having that open communication? What's your pops around? That's different, that's big for me. What with your pops around? That's? That's different, that's big for me. The pops around, see, I don't know. I think it's harder having a man in the house telling y'all man, until now, when my pops was around, it got easier to be a dude. I'm a mom having this, having having kevin around, I couldn't tell kevin shit. And kevin, he was just and my grandfather was a strong man like that. I couldn't like man listen.
Speaker 4:I mean, they were of a silent era, though they were, they were, and that's the problem?
Speaker 1:both of them weren't. It was a problem, but they know how to talk. Tell my dad that now.
Speaker 4:I didn't know shit about my grandmother's upbringing until she stayed with me like for a month two and it was just me asking questions and I'm like, hey, why you didn't express this to me or talk to us about this? And she was like nobody asked Because they weren't in open dialogue environments where you just talk about your pain, you talk about the failure. It was daddy, get up, go to work, come home, mama cooked and cleaned, set the fuck down.
Speaker 4:Life was so simplified then, but our generation has to see the generation's future for them. They have access to the whole fucking world and you're gonna tell your kid to shut up. I don't need to ask you anything. I got siri, I can google it and I got dumb ass friends. And then all the whole other side of parenting oh, my kid don't got a phone. You think they at school not on somebody's phone, not on they tablet. They got tablets. Yeah, like it's. You can't shield your kid from the world and the problem is you raise this nice ass kid as if snakes and wolves don't exist. That's a fact. And they go outside and get taken advantage of.
Speaker 1:And then you're like why is my kid.
Speaker 4:So stupid not to see this dude taking advantage of her because you didn't. You raised her that fucking way. Yeah, you made her into a slow person.
Speaker 1:Why is your son a mess and getting robbed and you ain't got no father?
Speaker 4:yeah, pussy well, no matter who, like a woman, can express not being stupid, lock your car door yeah, she can put your shit up.
Speaker 1:A woman, a woman can give you. A woman can give you common sense and gain.
Speaker 4:Stop telling people what you got in the first place. Yeah, it's different conversations, but your kid is a kid for a very short window, correct, I'm raising adults. I never said I'm raising children. I'm raising an adult from go Productive member of society. Yeah, because once you hit 18, the world say you grown, whether I think you are, whether your actions say you are Right right, that connection is crazy.
Speaker 1:Boy, I'm finna go ahead and get him on. Let me see why in the world this is going on. Here we go.
Speaker 4:It's the same person.
Speaker 1:Dubby Dubsker. Are you here?
Speaker 5:you sound like a robot you ain't supposed to sound like a robot.
Speaker 1:I ain't doing that. Why you sound like that man? I had you call the real number, you okay? Okay, dubber, this is what we gonna do, dubber. We gonna go Dubber you here, you okay, okay, debra, this is what we're going to do, debra. We're going to go Debra. You there. Hello, okay, debra, we're going to go ahead and let you go. We appreciate you. Can you hear me now? Debra there.
Speaker 4:Come on, man, you're messing up the flow.
Speaker 1:You sound like a robot. Still you there. Yeah, we can.
Speaker 3:It's okay, Dubber.
Speaker 1:Okay, I can't. Yeah, yeah, you got some stuff. It's okay, Dubber, we're going to let you go. We appreciate you calling in. Go ahead and make sure you get on IG, man. Let us know what you're thinking. Okay, we appreciate you. We'll loop back around, though.
Speaker 1:What are values that women should have and some values that men should have? Just in what aspect? Just in general, like principles of what I feel are value. It could be values, principles, like whatever word choice you choose, but what are some things that men should have and what are some things that women should have? Speak as a man, Kind of know what I would women should have. So I speak as a man. I know what I would want in a woman. So, just speaking as a man, I hope so I would. You got to have some type of your word got to be everything you ain't got you got to be, and what I mean by honest, don't get too like. If you're going to say you're going to do something, you got to do it. I'm big on that, I'm really big on that. I feel like you got to have some type of follow through.
Speaker 1:Yeah, as a man, that's all you got. If I tell you I'm going to do something, the moment, like, I talk to a lot of people and when somebody says they're going to do something and they cap on it, I don't care. But you say you're going to do something that's partaking in my life and you don't do it, well then now everything you say out the window it don't really matter to me, no more. Personally, one time. I mean it depends on what it is. Let's say a situation hey, you're telling me you're going to meet me here and take me to the airport. I got a flight 5 o'clock. I ask you. You say, yeah, all right, cool, and you're somebody I know Been rocking with you. Let's say it's going to be somebody new, but somebody I trust enough to take me to the airport. That's important, I don't want to miss no flight. And you hit me with the oh man, I forgot. Oh, I, oh man, I can't do it, no more.
Speaker 1:Something came up, I got you, so best believe, going forward. I kind of look at you're in a spot in my head now where you're not dependable. So morality, dependability, so yeah, you're not dependable, but you ain't a man of your word either. I know things happen, so next time you might not be the first person on my list. I'm going to come hit and be like, yeah, I need to do some. This is this. You know you won't be that first person on that list. You might be off my list personally. So I think you got to have that. Unless you told me in enough time for me to still make my flight, you were definitely off my list Right Right.
Speaker 1:Cause you didn't miss my flight.
Speaker 4:Right, so the value, though, is the dependability, or follow through.
Speaker 1:I think for me, the value is just being a man of your word. Okay, having a word, being able to say something and standing on it. If things happen, don't get twisted.
Speaker 4:But that's something like you would have gave me enough time to advance. If I tell you, at 12 you can.
Speaker 1:I can make some shake. You know what? I'm saying nowadays.
Speaker 2:Uber and.
Speaker 1:Lyft and everything for a flight that's big that's like a flight and I ain't talking about something small a flight, though I trusted you enough to do it. That's because I was just Uber. That's me, though. That's one thing. As a man, you got to be able to stand on your word. As a man Facts Gotcha. What about you? So, as a man, though, what do you feel like? Is the value that a woman should have that a woman has to have? For you, for me, a value that a woman got to have, a value a woman has to have? She has to know how to be loyal. I'm big on loyalty. What does that look like? So loyalty like women? Don't be upset with me. Loyalty for me is I burn you and you're still down for me.
Speaker 1:Hold on hold on, burn, burn burn.
Speaker 4:Yeah, there's a lot of content.
Speaker 1:Okay, I don't mean like burn you sexually, but if I fuck up, I messed up.
Speaker 1:I messed up bad. You're still going to be loyal to me and hold me down because I love you, and you ain't going to do. You might get your big one too. You might get your big one All right cool, but you're still loyal to me, no matter what, and that's how I'm big on that. You might get you gonna get your big one all right cool, but you're still loyal to me, no matter what, and that's how I'm big on that. That's selfish as fuck. It is selfish, but hey.
Speaker 1:It's also confusing as hell. Bro, I feel like a lot of, I feel like I feel like our grandparents this says you got her fucked up, nah, this baby.
Speaker 1:Tell you something. Our grandparents I can't speak for everybody's grandparents, I'm talking about my grandparents, gwen, lynn and Chuck Tell you something, and there's a lot of people's grandparents growing up. I don't care If your grandparents been together for 25 to 30 years. Somebody got cheated on and somebody was loyal. So my grandpa had three families. God it right. But I ain't saying it's right. You asked me what my principle.
Speaker 2:I won't he like them. Memes. I've been seeing where they had a.
Speaker 3:He cheated 4,000 and sometimes and she went out on a date, and then he hooked up to a ventilator.
Speaker 2:No, I'm not.
Speaker 1:I'm not a sensitive person in that aspect. You she said she could do the big one she's going to get her big one. I know it. That's why I'm not going to be hurt. That's why I said I'm confused, because the confusion is if she did her big one, how?
Speaker 2:is that loyal. How is she being loyal?
Speaker 1:Because with loyalty it still comes a connection of communication that hey, okay, I know you got your big one, you ain't going no goddamn where.
Speaker 4:I love you. Bucko, you a psychopath.
Speaker 1:This is how I feel, though I tell you what a lot of people I guarantee you, I'm not the only one that thinks like- this, and they psychopaths too.
Speaker 1:If you're loyal to me, I need you to be down for me, and if you fuck up, because I fucked up, I expect you to. You know we can work through that. But if it comes into a you know what you had going for six years, a trend. I'll say damn, stand on it. 11. If you're going what you had for 11, that's a trend. A trend you ain't loyal.
Speaker 4:A trend that was you Well, absolutely not at 11.
Speaker 1:11,. You know that was a reoccurring event, but that's what I would want, though, for a woman. I would want her to be loyal, loyal's big. I think loyal's so big for me, because no matter what you got my back.
Speaker 1:You just want to get that pussy. I want you to be loyal to me, though. No, that's not loyalty. Loyalty is let me tell you something. There's somebody out there man, woman let me tell you something that got your back, regardless. You got somebody. Take away the wife. Is there a man or a woman that you feel like got your back, no matter what and no matter what? They're going to put you in the best position. They want you to win, they want to see you, but people fuck up, people fuck up. We all fuck up. Not for sure, but I feel like and I feel like, if you're loyal to me, you're never going to have there. There will be no harm to me, there will be no type of like malice.
Speaker 1:I think the example you used is a bad one. Nah, man, cause if she does what she does, he's standing in it. He is cause a lot of niggas gonna cry about it, but the so. The second example you just gave me is different from the first one. To me, they don't go together. I feel like they're both of them gonna. I'll hold you down. I just think the difference is, as a man, I did some bullshit and I want you to be loyal to me, regardless, regardless, and you did some bullshit to me. I'm not going to cry and throw a rock, but I just expect. Now we hold it down.
Speaker 2:So do you honestly believe that you can continue on in a healthy relationship and y'all just tit for tat each other?
Speaker 1:The tit for tat has to stop. At a point it has to stop. So who's stopping it? Well, that's where two people got to have that conversation and you got to figure out, because if it doesn't stop, then no. So is she loyal if she asks you to stop? Well, no, I think if she's loyal, if she can have a communication, a conversation that leads to somebody saying, no, I don't. Hey, listen, you fucked up, I fucked up. This is what we can expect going forward If this does not change. Hey, I had a conversation, let's let's go ahead and let it be OK so that's the first conversation.
Speaker 4:You on your bullshit, the second time.
Speaker 1:Then I'm on my bullshit. Now I know you ain't loyal to me. Now it is what it is at that point.
Speaker 4:Hold on, she ain't loyal to you?
Speaker 1:Yeah, because we had a conversation now.
Speaker 4:Y'all had a conversation and then you fucked up. You still outside, no, no, no. I can't do that then. Okay, I want you to save yourself, man, because you sounded crazy.
Speaker 1:No, what I'm meaning is that from the start and first example.
Speaker 4:He asked what I wanted Hold on. Let me just ask Is cheating in your relationship wrong or right?
Speaker 1:Cheating is wrong.
Speaker 4:People need to know that you ain't this fucked up, Bucko.
Speaker 1:Cheating is wrong. Cheating is wrong guys. Hey guys this is DJ Bucko. Cheating is not right. I didn't get quiet over here.
Speaker 2:I'm rubbing my head, I'm like I'm trying to let him fix it. Cheating is not right. I didn't get quiet over here. I'm rubbing my head, I'm like.
Speaker 1:I'm trying to let him fix it.
Speaker 4:Cheating is wrong. I had to help him.
Speaker 1:Man Cheating is wrong, but Shit happens. Apatria, yes, but you can still. This is why I say I'm crazy. You can still have somebody that's loyal to you and cheating and infidelity Can still happen. They can still's loyal to you and cheating and infidelity can still happen. They'll be loyal to you still.
Speaker 4:Okay, and if a tree fall and nobody here did it fall?
Speaker 1:Shit, maybe it didn't, that's what you said yeah, facts, facts. Basically, you're talking to somebody, bucko, who's this message for?
Speaker 2:I'm speaking out to folks, I'm just saying somebody's gonna go back and repeat this today. Gav and get smacked.
Speaker 1:Hey, somebody gonna say hey, that nigga said that you was cheating and I was cheating. Now let's be lawyers, let's be lawyers. Hey, it goes back to what Mike said originally.
Speaker 1:bro, that shit is selfish that is because, as young, men, we've all been there, I've been a piece of shit, so I could see piece of shit me too and I and I feel like, but at the same time, the loyalty doesn't have to be even with, it, could just be. It could really be like a situation or a feeling of it happens all the time people go to prison and they and they know I'm with you.
Speaker 4:I want to counter your bullshit, though, with facts. What you're explaining is why loyalty is overrated. I'm with you. I want to counter your bullshit though Facts. What you're explaining is why loyalty is overrated. I'm with you Because I would not want my child to be loyal to a motherfucker who treats her bad.
Speaker 1:I got you, or him bad, I got you.
Speaker 4:That's what you're saying, and that's what you're saying, and I think you're not trying to say that. You're not trying to you, won't? You want forgiveness?
Speaker 2:for fucking them. I don't think you know better yet, and that's okay.
Speaker 4:No, I do want forgiveness. That's what it is, yes, but that's not loyalty, and I think that's the difference. Is that not loyalty? Nah, no, because I wouldn't want to be with somebody that I can treat that way. And then they're loyal Because I'm fucking their life up, and that's where it's selfish. I got them to amen, but I held you down, I paid the bills, I did, and that's. A lot of relationships are like that and that's wrong as fuck, bro, and I know that's not what you're saying, but you're just saying I'm human. If I make a mistake, your loyalty comes in, that you're not just gonna bounce on me bounce on me because I mean I fucked up, okay, I get, I got you I got you but you was drowning.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry. That's where I was coming from, though that was from the heart. That was from the heart. I think you messed up by trying to give too much context, especially when you said she got her get back. Yeah, because I want, because I'm fair and I think a lot of niggas, sometimes a lot of niggas being they feelings what you're talking about is understanding okay, so I take more, like I take that I want a woman. I think a woman has to be understanding.
Speaker 4:Okay, that's real, yeah, that that's a better value of what you're trying to do let's hear from a woman, because you, you, man, just the fuck out this mansplaining and I don't even like that word.
Speaker 1:I don't need it, but it fit right there.
Speaker 2:So for me, a value of mine is I want you to be considerate.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Of your relationship, of me, of this relationship. If we're talking on the relationship aspect, be considerate of my feelings In everything that you do. So, when you walk out this house, it shouldn't be a question Of whether or not You're in a relationship.
Speaker 4:You should be carrying yourself In such a manner when you go out this house.
Speaker 2:It shouldn't be a question Of whether or not You're in a relationship. You should be caring Yourself in such manner when you go out With your boys. They may be single, they may not be single. You should still be Conducting yourself In a way that Is respectful. So just be considerate.
Speaker 1:Okay, I respect that I like that and in a man, um, consider it okay, I respect that, I like that and in a man, um, or where's that the man?
Speaker 5:and I thought it's really vice versa. Okay, you know, I'm saying like it goes both ways.
Speaker 2:You shouldn't have to question whether the way I move when I when I'm not with you, it shouldn't be a question you should know. But that goes in also into securing your mate, making sure your mate is secure on both ends, secure your woman so when you do leave the house she ain't gotta worry about, she ain't gotta I don't me and my fiance ain't no life.
Speaker 4:360 ain't no sharing, no location yeah, I want you to get out. Yeah, go go get, get that energy, because I know we good, exactly. I respect that. Yeah, uh-oh. Uh-oh, lord Jesus.
Speaker 1:I like that and I respect that, but I ain't going to put no butt behind it. No, we're going to move on Hell. No, we're not doing that anymore. We ain't got enough time. No, sir, what are we doing? What are we doing? I got something for you, though. Come on, I'm going to let you chime in on this. Come on, do you feel like women that were raised without fathers have a harder time with values and principles?
Speaker 2:Oh, yes, sir 100%, 100%.
Speaker 1:I'm going to say this and make it short. I ain't going to dwell on this because I don't know.
Speaker 4:Oh, I'm shooting on Mother's Day.
Speaker 1:No, Father's Day, you mean.
Speaker 4:No Today Today.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to beat them up today because this is showing love for the mothers, no, but we, being honest though, we being honest though, we honest, though we ain't capping, um, I feel like. I feel like they don't have a. I feel like a lot of women have values, but they're not the right values because they've never really been loved by another man, and I'm only gonna say that as a their father, they might have had a damn good grandfather, might have a damn good uncle, but a father's love is something different that you can't get, and I feel like a lot of women that don't have those morals didn't have that relationship with their father and all they had was an independent, strong mother who had to do everything. Or maybe they had a step daddy, but you know, let's just be real. Step parents don't put that same work in like they do a real. Sometimes they fit a stepdaddy, but you know, let's just be real. Stepparents don't put that same work in like they do a real. Sometimes they fit a void, but it ain't the same.
Speaker 4:Man well, I can't agree with that. Tell me more I'm, just because love is. I could love somebody that I'm not related to more than I love my real family.
Speaker 1:And it happens. That's real. I would say it depends on the person. True.
Speaker 4:True.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're going to subtract that sentence.
Speaker 4:Okay, I get what you're saying, though.
Speaker 1:I do, it does happen, it does happen.
Speaker 4:I think the importance of an example helps you understand your future better. Correct.
Speaker 2:And I could give y'all the opposite side of that, because you were saying that women without fathers Correct, I had a father and my father was a good man, a great man, but my father did not pour into me as a daughter.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so I didn't get.
Speaker 2:I saw how he treated my mom I saw the love, I saw the, the hustle.
Speaker 2:I saw him put his family on his back, but what I didn't get was the problem solving skills. How did you get here, just like when I would see them arguing? I see the argument and then I see the kissing and the makeup, but I didn't see the in between. What was the conversations that y'all had to fix this issue? So, yes, I had a father, a good father, but my daddy did not pour into me to prepare me for dating, for relationships I know a lot of men like it was don't bring no babies in this house, yeah you know, that's where it stopped don't date till you're 30.
Speaker 4:That ain't right, yeah I didn't get the.
Speaker 2:I didn't get that what I give my daughters. My daughter is 21. She's in. She's in a three-year relationship. She's been doing. She's doing relationships better than me hell that's because she's 21 but I didn't get that from my dad.
Speaker 2:So, even though he was in the house, I know he loved me, I know he took care of me, but I didn't get that actual. Let me sit you down and talk to you and give you some things that you don't need when you start dating a man. Yeah, I didn't get that. You didn't get the game. I didn't it.
Speaker 2:So I started looking for just pretty much whatever. I didn't have boundaries, I didn't have a blueprint of what type of man to look for Hell. I thought all men knew how to change oil. I thought all men cut grass I thought all men wash cars. The rules Because that's what I saw. But, then getting with somebody who I'm not cutting no grass, I don't know how to check no oil. I don't know how to put air in the tires. That was something totally different for me.
Speaker 1:You was the man in the relationship, so I hell, I thought all men came like that.
Speaker 4:Perspective, but then when I?
Speaker 2:started dating I? No, that's not the case.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I mean, that's, that's the reality of your childhood trauma. So, just piggybacking on that, I could have a father that's in the house and he can be a great man and didn't meet the expectation of a part of my life and that's okay. That's the truth. The problem is, as the parent, accepting that. So as your kids get older, you should have that conversation. Hey, now that you're an adult, what did I miss? What conversation should we not have? I mean, did we not have that we should have had?
Speaker 4:And then you help them when in their parenting journey nobody's perfect, um, but on the side of without a father, the same woman that raised that single man, raising that single daughter, and the independent track of that is different. So, as a woman, if I don't have a man majority of the time, I'm raising you as if to be a man that I would like. What if your son's personality ain't built for that? So he has nowhere to turn when it don't align with his mother? But I love her. So now I ain't talking to her when I'm grown. So I'm not getting that game for my daughter. I'm teaching her how to live life without a man. So she goes out here. She don't know how to attract them, she don't know how to get them, she don't know how to keep them outside of her body. And then you're wondering why they have failed relationships. Well, mom, talk about your failures and picking bad men. And that's why you're single versus men, ain't shit?
Speaker 4:That's a hard conversation to have, but you got to have it if you love your kids.
Speaker 1:That's a pride thing how you ignored the red flag.
Speaker 4:Yeah. So this is a big thing. I'm just speaking from the men. I know I don't hear a lot of men saying I don't need a woman, no, but women in our community, I don't need no fucking man. Stand on that shit. Then I'll ask you a question Do you want a man? Yeah, I want a man. I want to be with somebody. You don't go in a job interview and stand on I don't need a fucking job. I don't need a job. Talk to him, mike. So why are you out here? I don't need a man, Say I want a man. I ain't found the right one.
Speaker 4:The ones I'm running into ain't it, but I want one.
Speaker 2:Stop saying you don't need something, you want it's a defense mechanism.
Speaker 1:Right, I want to go back to what you were saying. A lot of them haven't even seen the value of a man yet Correct, so they don't even know that they do need one.
Speaker 4:But that's what I'm saying, but that comes from. I grew up with this tough-ass single mom who worked three jobs, did it on her own, and you see that and what you walk away with is I don't need something, I can do it all on my own.
Speaker 1:When you meet a good man, are you able to listen to him.
Speaker 4:No, are you able to listen to me? No, because I ain't been in a position to have to.
Speaker 1:I ain't been in a position to have to. You ain't had to do it, your whole goddamn life.
Speaker 4:And then women like that wonder why they end up with the motherfucking mama boy or the one that needs you. Well, that's the energy you give, that's what you gave. As a man, I don't want to fight you. So, men, we know, Look, I don't argue with women because as a man I know If I'm arguing with another man it ends one way we stop talking or somebody gets punched in the face. I'll tell you so I don't argue with a woman, because I'm never going to escalate it to punching you in the face.
Speaker 1:Correct. We already know what the outcome is going to always be. Yeah but that independence of.
Speaker 4:I don't need you, I don't respect you as a man, that you are probably stronger than me. You can hurt me. Now I'm going to rah-rah your ass and then I'm going to call you a bitch because you don't do nothing. You don't do nothing.
Speaker 1:Hey, man, this is crazy, that's how it be. This is crazy. And Rob I'm not going to say no names, but a situation that I encountered with Rob Somebody that I know said basically they want to put a TV up. I told her hey, why don't you get somebody to come over and help me put that TV up? I don't let nobody know where I live, I don't let nobody come over here. I said, well, somebody's coming over there punching that cat. So I asked why can't that man that's over there beating that cat up?
Speaker 4:put that TV up? Great question.
Speaker 1:So I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it. Okay, well, so I'm confused. You're willing to let a man come over there and beat your back up, but you won't let him be a man and put these studs in the wall and put your TV up. But now your TV broke.
Speaker 5:Because you tried to put the motherfucking goddamn thing in and now.
Speaker 4:Independence is free as a motherfucker.
Speaker 1:And now but that's why a lot of us men let me not say this, but a lot of men grow up and you. But then what'll happen is she'll cuff the nigga and make him her man, her one and only and move him in.
Speaker 4:You know who raised that motherfucker? You cuffed that single mama who fucked him up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but now the woman is also showing him that it's okay to not get together. It's okay cause you gotta hold him accountable to him and shit.
Speaker 2:But then when y'all get together, and when he started giving that energy, and y'all move in together and you wonder, why not at y'all together?
Speaker 1:Because that's what you've been saying. He's still not doing. Man, shit, damn it.
Speaker 4:But you talk to him, rob, what's the line you get? I only attract, I only Because that's your energy. And Same with men, like if you are attracting the wrong woman, it's because you putting the energy out to attract that motherfucker.
Speaker 1:Facts. So to segue to, because it's on the same topic is a woman supposed to listen to her man?
Speaker 4:Guess what they going to say. If he worth listening to? Oh, the key word, the trigger word. I submit to the right one.
Speaker 1:To the right one. What the fuck?
Speaker 4:I already throw something In the motherfucker the right one don't see your submissive actions To know you the right one. You the right one when.
Speaker 1:God, let me know when my man is. What you don't even go To the goddamn church you talking about when?
Speaker 4:God. Let you know, see. But this is why we gotta get it. We gotta find these 60 year old by themselves, aunties, to talk to these younger women. Bro, I love women, I want them to be happy, you too. But we gotta have real conversations. Men want what y'all want. We want relationships, we want to be happy, but we don't want a man in this regard.
Speaker 1:We don't want the 60. She's here, though, what you got to say for women.
Speaker 2:I mean, I just honestly I like the topic there, but I mean, for me we're tying into values and morals. It is to me it's just like everybody's values and morals are different. So what one person may deal with, another person may not deal with. One person accepts or respects another person is. You know, it may be on something totally different, but how do we have those conversations? How do we have those conversations when you? One thing that I learned from going to counseling is when you enter into a relationship, you skip a big part. A lot of us, 90 of us do you skip a big chunk in that timeline. And that timeline is when you first see somebody out there. He killed him off, she's fine, it's physical, and now you're starting to see if you can see yourself being intimate with that person and nine times out of ten, if it progresses, it becomes intimate and from that intimate relationship y'all get into a, a regular relationship, but you skip the whole timeline of having those conversations of your values and morals.
Speaker 2:Like me, I'm 44, so meeting my fiance, I knew he was gonna have kids. I have kids, but we parent totally different. But those conversations and we was bumping heads because of that, because we parent two totally different ways how do you have those conversations? Early in the beginning who's bringing it to the forefront, though? Hopefully on the fucking third day, because if I start, talking about parenting and this, and we just boyfriend and girlfriend. Is that not going to scare?
Speaker 3:you away? No, are you going to be like? Oh no, you moving too fast.
Speaker 2:Like a lot of times. That's why those conversations don't happen because I don't want to run you off.
Speaker 1:I like that. I do Think about it like this If that conversation Ran that man off, you were supposed to.
Speaker 5:He was supposed to Run the fuck away Because he wasn't for you. Yes.
Speaker 1:We got to stop being scared Of having these conversations Early, because that lets you know. That's the red flag. He wasn't for me.
Speaker 2:He wasn't for me Right.
Speaker 1:Because they mentally Are not where I'm at right and I needed to move on right versus coddle them and be afraid to have the conversations. Get in a relationship now. We mixing bills and signing leases together and I'm expecting you be this person and you're not, and I have no idea.
Speaker 2:I'm just not understanding why the fuck, you're not right, yeah, so all the deal breakers and the non-negotiables, all this shit need to be talked about first 30 days max.
Speaker 1:Oh wait, wait, wait, deal breakers. Not what's the deal? Because I heard two different things, just like we talked earlier. So what I just heard you say at first y'all was we need to talk about parenting and and and our goals and and how do we want a family, and what I understood that what that look like, but we need Negotiables Like.
Speaker 2:Non-negotiables. What are your non-negotiables Like? For me, cheating is a non-negotiable. You cheat, that's it. Yeah, like I'm tired, I'm old, I can't. I did that In my 20s and 30s. I'm not doing it in my 40s, but most niggas say all mine too, you know I'm saying we're gonna throw that out there.
Speaker 4:So that's another thing too. Like dating older, even younger, though. Men and women know how to play the game. So I don't know nothing about dating apps, but profile wherever you put it, whether it's an app, facebook or you in person. You teach a motherfucker what you don't like and then they do that for 30, 60, 90 days and you think they're the best thing ever when you taught them how to play you to get what they want, and then wonder what I thought they was good to me. You gave them the blueprint I want a man.
Speaker 4:It's I'll be there for you told me you told me but that understand that like, but those real conversations, you can't fake that shit no, no because once you don't match up with your words, I, I'm going to see it, and now I know the real you. And then it's on the person to accept that red flag. Hey, this motherfucker, in a month or two, show me something I don't like.
Speaker 2:Don't get to six months, then Move around then, or maybe they have some good and investigate it, cause all red flags are not deal breakers. Sometimes it's yellow flag and you think it's red. Yeah, because you're bringing in your insecurities and your trust issues.
Speaker 1:You got PTSD from your past so you might be seeing something that's not even there. I'm glad you said that. How would you do so? We heard the word investigate. What do you mean by that? Tell me more.
Speaker 2:So, depending on your, you sound like a nigga, that's been locked up.
Speaker 4:Do your homework. Do your homework.
Speaker 2:So it depends on your red flag. So for me, like being at the age that I am, a red flag for me can't be. I'm not dating a dude that's got kids because nine times out of ten it's 44. Now, if we 44, now a deal breaker for me and a red flag if she two, he two.
Speaker 4:I can't do it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if you are, if they're two years old, if you got like little children.
Speaker 1:Like two or three like okay.
Speaker 2:I can't do it. I can't do because they nah you don't want to be an auntie.
Speaker 1:You can't be an auntie for a second.
Speaker 4:Now you got a lot of shit going on with a two-year-old you just broke up.
Speaker 2:That means you got ballet to go to football practices. You busy I done. Did all that, done, done it all.
Speaker 1:I done.
Speaker 2:You got grown kids, I got grown kids. Okay, mmhmm, yeah, I respect that. So but investigate it Instead of just Him saying I got kids and then you automatically. Chop.
Speaker 1:Investigate Ask questions.
Speaker 2:Follow up. So how old is? Oh, okay, 25. Okay, cool, we can talk.
Speaker 1:You don't want no nigga With no young chill, but you talking about Six months Nah baby. Six months is wild.
Speaker 4:You still fucking your baby mama the stitches just got off that coochie.
Speaker 1:Hey, the stitches just got off that mug Well that's what I mean by investigate. I get you because a lot of times, women do that.
Speaker 1:A lot of women do that. But let me ask you this, and then, before we go on to the no thinking cap and left on read, I got to ask you this one question, though when we're talking about investigation, you got like a bunch of women that you investigate with. Like you, like girl, what's your? You ain't got no homegirls you talk to that, get the follow up, or you just your own Inspector, gadget you a pretty good one. What y'all be doing? I ain't inspecting shit. What you ain't, nope what you doing.
Speaker 1:What needs to be seen Will be shown without any investigation oh shit we got some good hey we got some good actors out here in this world, some dizzier white we got, but eventually you gonna trip up your own shoestrings can only be fake for so long. That's a fact, you know, it is some good motherfuckers, we gonna. We gonna have that, we gonna have that for another day I like that though we're gonna come back to that one, the no thinking cap.
Speaker 1:You know, every week y' we have the no thinking cap of the day or the week, and for today, you know, with everything going on, I want to definitely touch it real quick. Huh, my boy P Diddy finna get loose. My boy P Diddy man, you know, just to touch on it real quick, he gets a no thinking cap because right now, you know, we didn't know what was going on in the story and now you know they're in court and I just want to touch on it real quick. I don't know. Listen, Cassie, at this point I'm going to put her on there with his ass, because she done came up on that stage, on that stand, and she done told them niggas, yeah, I was enjoying the freak-offs too, she was inclined to it. So they both up there together. I think Diddy's going to get off. I don't think he's going to get hit with racketeering. Hold on, it's early, it's early. But hey, I'm giving it mine now because I see what's going to happen.
Speaker 4:Hold on, she was the first.
Speaker 1:I know, but we're talking about the racketeering I don't see happening.
Speaker 4:I mean the biggest part is the prostitution with her. We got to get the other witnesses before we move on.
Speaker 1:That means there's a lot of money involved, and I just don't see it for me.
Speaker 4:I think what's going to get them. So I got to know Are we doing this seriously or are we getting jokes off? We're doing both. Okay, because I got some man fuck this serious shit. This motherfucker said come put some other man's juice on me. What kind of shit is that man? That is crazy, bro. That is crazy.
Speaker 1:Ain't no party like a Diddy party.
Speaker 4:You heard what he told them folks, Fuck a Diddy party. I think that's wild to me.
Speaker 1:I think at the end of the day it's okay, diddy, just a little sweet. Tupac told us that he did. I mean, tupac told us that he did and we didn't listen to him.
Speaker 5:And now, Diddy out here. I knew who he was talking about.
Speaker 1:You knew who he was saying yeah, yeah, he was hip. I wasn't hip. I just thought you know he could dance and you know he could never sing, but he could dance, he could make hits. So for me I just thought, hey, but Diddy man, you shouldn't have had all these text messages you caught on video beating this woman up. I think he'll get in trouble for sure on the allegations of abuse and all that going on with with these different women and men well, they set up a pattern, so they use cassie to set the baseline of the monster, the monster because you gotta think about a jury trial.
Speaker 4:The juror is not gonna forget that part, whether it's to the case or not. Facts you just gonna see a monster for the rest of this trial time because day one and two was just monster shit. Yeah, the part with cassie, I mean we could all say she was grown and you know she, she was a willing participant, but a man of that stature and the money he had with her age, why would I want to leave that? You know what I'm saying. Like he showed her a life that the 1% see. Facts.
Speaker 4:And so 19, 20, 21-year-old brain is going to be like I don't want to lose this. And it started as my boyfriend. You know what I mean. Yeah, yeah, she didn't walk into a freak off and that was their whole relationship. I think that was a build-up of him manipulating her, getting her to fall in love with him, and now this is what I want from you Facts. So I don't. Now, the backside of that is, I do want to leave you, but I don't want to leave broke. I think the play was to get paid and he didn't pay. He didn't come with it. Yeah, so she had to do what she had to do. I think, if he paid, this shit ain't what it is.
Speaker 1:This shit is under the rug for at least another 10 years, if she asked for 30, you should have just gave her the 30 and figured it out. Quick, I don't think he thought that he could get a recall from this.
Speaker 4:Probably not that, like I don't got to get you on what I want, I'll get you on something Get you on something else.
Speaker 1:You're going to get him on something they can prove out, it's the mob. He done, pissed off the wrong motherfucker.
Speaker 4:For sure the wrong white man what he was blackmailing him In that video when you also know he had that lawsuit against his parent company. Yeah, you're keeping them for. So he apparently used them and, yeah, he triggered all this. And then the fans like, oh, we got a perfect character witness in Cassie to come and set this up. Show how horrific of a person he is.
Speaker 1:I just want to know who was at the parties. That's what I'm waiting for when they start dropping names of niggas that was at the party putting juices on each other. That's a whole hour of them niggas. I just want to know who they are, that's all. I can't wait.
Speaker 4:But yeah, he's the no thank cap of the day I think that's why music been quiet, Like it's been a quiet year. I think this is why it's a shift. You can't drop some music and then your name come up in the ditty track.
Speaker 2:You can't be turnt Kill nigga, build nigga you been bending over for a nigga Today on Channel 2 News this artist was at the Diddy Corner.
Speaker 1:That's why these young men been in these interviews crying. Crying. They've been real quiet lately. They can't live with themselves, bro. But can I say that, can I say this before we go on Left on Riverbuckle, real quick, that as a child because Cassie went through what she's going through and, like you said, a 19-year-old, 20-year-old, 18-year-old getting all that money, you know, as a kid, real quick, I used to tell my mom and dad I used to want to go to Neverland. I just wanted to as a kid. Michael Jackson, Hell yeah.
Speaker 4:You want to go to the zoo in his yard?
Speaker 1:No, I did though I used to tell my mom and dad, nobody ever told you what Neverland was. They never really explained it to you. Well, it didn't until I got older and then I realized but that's the same situation. Children, these people taking these kids and Cassie being a grown woman is a little different. But people growing up you know we used to have conversations with kids, bro, I want to want to leave that lifestyle. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to leave that lifestyle. Leave all that goddamn money to Michael Jackson. That's why them kids wasn't talking back then. So to me money is the rule of all evil, whether it's Cassie with all that money. At the end of the day I just feel like people are going to do what they want to do, but money with with Diddy and Cassie. She didn't want, like Mike said, she didn't want to leave that lifestyle and that change, and now she's coming under the cover. So that's my left, that's my no thinking cap. We got to add that Michael Jackson was never found guilty of anything.
Speaker 4:Yeah, let's not slander him too much.
Speaker 1:I'm not slander Mike, I'm just saying Diddy a that bro, I've seen the allegations, we all seen them.
Speaker 4:It could have been a bag chase man. We don't know. We don't know.
Speaker 1:RIP, mike. We love you, mike. We love you baby Rob, hit me up, man, it's my favorite time, all right. So we got Left Phone Red with Bucko, all right y'all. So let's not be afraid to be honest. Um, that's what it said. This person's situation says he is deaf and disabled and looking for love. Um, in his words.
Speaker 1:I live with my mom, who communicates to me that I need to get out of the house more and mingle. My friend jason hooked me up on a date with his co-worker from Walmart and it was a great time. I'm very interested in her because she can also do sign language. She is caring and sweet. The issue is, I don't know if she is exactly what she claims to be. I believe she may be transgender. I can't hear her, but some features she has show otherwise. I don't know how to feel or think. I never really felt this way about a person who liked me back. Should I stop communicating to her or see it through left on red with bucko? Well, I'll be damn, okay. Well, I'm gonna dig in this like some things, given dinner first, okay so.
Speaker 1:Pause First. First, the feedback I'm finna give you. I don't know if you can hear it because you deaf, so you might have to get this in Braille brother because you ain't gonna hear this shit. But somebody please give him a sign and tell him when I'm finna, let him know. So first is first. First is first Real shit.
Speaker 1:You're disabled. You know. You sound like you haven't been loved except from your mom, so I do hate to hear that. It seems like you found some love. Jason hooked you up, but I don't know what that hookup looks like. You're not blind, you're deaf. So you can see. You got eyes and you can see. I would tell you that you're disabled and that's okay being disabled. I'm not judging you. Love what you love, like what you like. All I'm going to say is this if you're disabled and you want to go down that road, I just don't know if what you say is true who's going to be doing the bending. I'm just going to be real with you. I feel like at this moment, I feel like if you disabled, you're going to get more disabled, messing with this person. So if I was you personally, if you want to see it through, see it through. If you want to feel loved and feel like this person. I feel like the connection is because y'all can sign language.
Speaker 4:Respect to our LGBTQIA plus community.
Speaker 1:Yes, because I have no problems with all y'all. I love y'all, but do that, man, right? If that is what that is, you know what I mean. If that's what you want to do, then do it. Brother, I have no regrets. Are you saying that the trans person should, if it is sign language? If yeah, if they are? If they are, yeah, I think they should let them know in sign. I think there's a really easy sign language he needs to ask the question in silence put on the table he needs to ask the question, why not?
Speaker 2:yeah, because this is your life and if that's not something that you are on board with, then I'm not consenting to that it's too far. So you have to ask that question because at this point you're taking my consent away.
Speaker 1:So let me ask you this Is it because he's disabled? That? He needs to ask. No, no. Shouldn't that be voluntary. The person should volunteer that shit, if that person is trans.
Speaker 2:They absolutely, they absolutely should volunteer that. But if they haven't and you feel some type of way about it or you think that's what's going on got you, then you need to put it on the table. Yeah, I like that because, at the end of the day, if you might not, that might not be something you, you with you know I'm saying, and if that's the case, or uh-huh, or uh-huh, because the way it ended was you might be with, he, might be okay with it, and if you are.
Speaker 1:That's okay too, but let's ask this real question how, how? Being disabled and deaf, I'm pretty sure he had got to meet options.
Speaker 4:Options may be limited.
Speaker 1:It might be limited and I think he hasn't been able to, like mom said, but he shouldn't settle just because his options are just because he doesn't have.
Speaker 4:Oh, that's a. We could do a whole settling. I know a deaf man a deaf man growing up.
Speaker 1:He was knocking them down. I wonder what it sound like a deaf person having sex. We're trying to talk, but that's too much. Hey, he had that bag. He had that cake.
Speaker 4:I will say the world's different now. Right, so there's communities of people in your situation.
Speaker 1:They're deaf, yeah, and disabled.
Speaker 4:And or disabled. Yeah, so disabled and or disabled, yeah.
Speaker 4:so I would say get out the house and find like people because less judgmental, more understanding of your situation and build friendships. Get to know people because that'll get your circle bigger and you'll actually get around people that understand you, that want to help you and love you the way you want to be loved. It's hard for someone without you know the same situation to truly understand it. I think you are connecting because you want to be loved. In all seriousness, you should want to be loved. That's a human feeling and that's okay. Don't sell your life short of not looking for that, yeah, but I would say I wouldn't look through it through jason and walmart if it ain't lining up correctly, because if that's not what you want, jason ain't shit somebody gotta say you need to ree-evaluate your frame.
Speaker 1:Jason don't love you the way he said he loved you. What if he just told Jason find me somebody?
Speaker 4:Well, he should have put some context up.
Speaker 1:I just had a crazy thought though A deaf person and a blind person can't be together.
Speaker 4:It'd be hard.
Speaker 1:Because if I'm deaf and I'm sign language, you can't see me. It'll be hard, because if I'm deaf, and I'm sign language.
Speaker 4:you can't see me, but I can hear, I can hear, but you can type it into like Google Translate or something.
Speaker 1:If I'm blind, I can't type, I can't see.
Speaker 4:I mean, they communicate somehow.
Speaker 1:A deaf and a blind person.
Speaker 4:I've seen a blind person with a phone.
Speaker 1:How they use the phone I have is now. We was talking about communities.
Speaker 4:That's a great question I would love to speak to somebody and let us know how they do that, how you do that. But Jason ain't shit. I'm standing on that. You're standing on. Jason ain't shit. Yeah, because Jason should have put this person in a better position, but maybe Jason's in a fucked up position.
Speaker 1:Jason's just trying to play a hit. Jason's position ain't as fucked up as this one. Hold. Jason's position ain't as fucked up as this one. Hold on, maybe Jason's trans too.
Speaker 4:I don't know. Then Jason's still fucked up because he didn't tell. Tell the person it ain't that you're trans. It's the problem. That's not the problem. It's not being honest.
Speaker 1:Well, I'm saying like maybe he don't think nothing of it because he's also trans, he's normal to it? Maybe so.
Speaker 4:Normal to him, but Trent well.
Speaker 1:Jason should know the community Back to the part where they should tell us.
Speaker 4:Yeah, but I got a disabled, deaf person.
Speaker 1:So it should be up front, yeah, because I feel it all got to be up front with them.
Speaker 4:You don't want to take advantage of a disabled person.
Speaker 1:How does that introduction go? Well, if it's somebody talking as deaf it's more of. I have a penis and you the hand motion what that looks like I wish this was on video.
Speaker 4:You can sign that. You can sign that. Yeah, I.
Speaker 1:You don't have to point at your private have, and there you go.
Speaker 4:Are you familiar with transgender? Yes, that should be, part of the conversation.
Speaker 2:That's a real conversation and let's talk about it.
Speaker 4:And it always ties back to our um topic which was communication 100.
Speaker 1:Yeah, let's always be honest, man, life is easier that way. Always let somebody choose what they want to do. But uh, on my on my last note, with that though, okay um, I feel like, uh, I feel like it's going to happen. This is what I think is going to happen. Can I just tell you what I think is?
Speaker 4:going to happen.
Speaker 1:I think they're going to go out to dinner. He ain't going to ask. He said he's going to see it through Somebody.
Speaker 1:Let him know You're going to see it through. You're going to take her out to date. They're going to go out and have some food. Remember, he said he's comfortable with her Because she can sign too. Yep, you gonna take her out to date. They gonna go have some eat some food. Remember, he said he's comfortable with her cause she can sign too. He ain't, finna, let that go. He happy with this. Right now. I need to. I wanna talk to Jason. Ah, jason.
Speaker 4:I just can't let, you can't get on the fly, I think.
Speaker 1:Jason's. Jason ain't shit for real.
Speaker 2:They gonna go out, though, and I think Cause this ain't my friend. But what if Jason don't know?
Speaker 1:Well then, if Jason don't know, then I might not be able To tell you.
Speaker 4:But Jason, know, I don't know. So Jason gotta do the homework. He gotta do the homework.
Speaker 1:Bruh, you said, you got me, come on, man.
Speaker 4:Cause if Jason don't know and I'm in the house, I don't get out, I don't know a lot If Jason don Something, ain't fucking adding up.
Speaker 1:That's all I'm going to say.
Speaker 4:Okay, but see, I got so many questions. That's why, because why is Jason friends with you and the only person helping you I was just about to ask how the hell did he get? A friend. How y'all friends, how y'all friends, like what was the connection.
Speaker 1:He's knocking your mom down, brother, somebody's getting something they don't got no business doing, but it's going to happen, though I think what's going to happen is he's going to see it through, they're going to talk, go to dinner, he's going to go back to her crib, and it's going to be real simple. It's going to be a real simple conversation. There ain't going to be a lot of sign language. There's going to be no hands. Something's going to come off on that table. He's going to have to make a decision. I he ain't going to be going nowhere.
Speaker 4:I hope it's not debilitating and we don't even know the disability. Yeah.
Speaker 1:No, we, we, we, you right, you right, you right, you right. Just assume you don't put this man in a whole wheelchair. I'm assuming something? Okay, you right, you right. I will say remove your fear, because fear is it causes problems.
Speaker 4:Your heart works. That's beautiful, beautiful. I hope you find love. I hope you find somebody respect, don't be too and wants to help in your situation.
Speaker 1:Don't be afraid of the trans, if that is what they are. Don't be afraid if they're not.
Speaker 4:Just have the conversation but also be honest if it's not what you want, if they are trans cool.
Speaker 1:Now you know if this is what you want, run with it. If it's not what you want, explain that you have that conversation. Maybe you just met a new friend.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because our connections don't have to be romantic.
Speaker 4:That's a fact, but get out the house. I think, your mom's right, live life. Get to know some people better than Jason.
Speaker 1:Please, please, let mom meet her Let your mom.
Speaker 4:meet her. Yeah, let mom see her. Mom will be real with you.
Speaker 1:Mom wants to let you know, baby, that's a strong woman. I don't know if that's what you want to do, baby. I don't know if that's what you want to do, but you know what, if you want to get taken there, hey, and hey, I'm going to say this. I don't know how old he is, that's hard to say. I don't know how old he is, but. But you know, I'm going to be real with you. I feel like if you old bro, you probably too old to start sucking dick. So please don't start doing that. I ain't going to lie, just let that go. Just don't do it, bro. Just let it go and just let it be. But that's my take on this one.
Speaker 4:Pray for him. We would have been out all right without that.
Speaker 1:That was so unnecessary we didn't need that. We didn't need that one. That's the truth, though Sometimes Listen, let me tell you something, that's your truth Sometimes Sometimes you can't. It's too Bro, real shit, though. He gotta choose Whether he wanna no, I'm not, I ain't knocking that From choosing that, but you don't feel like when a nigga just come out, you don't know nobody that's come out, say I'm this way and you're like bro, you're too old, you? We didn't know this.
Speaker 4:Like the look at caitlyn jenner yeah, you right, winning golds, and then on the witty's, on the witty's box where caitlyn jenner was like 50 something yeah, you're right, and then that's why you're out here for me, man, you find your happiness, man.
Speaker 1:She apparently lived her whole life as a rock star.
Speaker 4:Hey, I mean, I know we're wrapping up, but that's got to be hard bro. I'm going to just say that. If you really are someone else inside, salute for everybody living their truth, because that'll be tough, it's hard to do.
Speaker 1:I couldn't imagine it. I am who I am, I'm not changing. This is me. I am who I am. I am blessed, and that's where I want to leave off to. I want everybody to say their prayers and count their blessings. You're not disabled, you're not blind. You have love. You have everything that you are wanting or looking for. You are blessed. So I want everybody to take away from today, being happy, living your truth, living in your blessings, appreciate your blessings and thank the good lord for them. That's your closing remark. That sounded goddamn good. That was his closing that was fire that's it.
Speaker 1:That's all. No cap on that rap. What about you? What's your?
Speaker 4:closing remark Hold on, I want to help you with yours. I want you to speak to the women in your situation that are young, that don't need to go 17 years, and then I want to talk to the ones that are your age still living in it, so they can see the other side, okay.
Speaker 2:So for somebody that was in the situation that I was in prior, yeah, I think it's common.
Speaker 2:I think it's more common than people that don't choose yourself, okay, and if you got to go to counseling, therapy, whatever that looks like, choose yourself. Nobody else is gonna do it. I don't care what you bring to the table, I don't care how much you have sex with a person Give, give, give, give, give. If you know you're in a situation that you don't need to be in, you're not going to get out of it until you choose yourself. And then, once you get out of it and this is something that I didn't do, and this is for my age group as well heal first, heal do your work when I left my relationship, I didn't think I was the problem.
Speaker 2:It was him. He started the cheating, he started this. He started that. When I got into my new relationship, I was the problem because I didn't heal. So I came into a fresh relationship, broken and broken people break other people, and that's what I was doing to my fiance. I was breaking him.
Speaker 4:That's deep, so heal.
Speaker 2:You got to heal.
Speaker 4:I think a lot of people need to hear that.
Speaker 1:We got to come back to that too in another episode.
Speaker 4:Thanks, yeah, we'll do a healing episode, that'd be great, yeah, yeah, I think going with everything we talked about today, which is what we always lean into, is communication in a relationship. Salute the other person when you want to salute yourself, because when you salute other somebody you love they, they reciprocate that energy without even trying. It goes for your kids and your spouse, your girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever type of relationship. You want something back from somebody, just invest in that person and it also gives you clarity. If you don't get it back, it kind of tells you how they look at the relationship and then that is the window to have the hard conversation. And once they know where you stand, how you feel and you still don't get what you want, don't stay for 11 years.
Speaker 2:Not.
Speaker 4:That's for men and women. We all go through it. Love is reciprocal. It's an action, they ain't words. Give your love unapologetically. If you love that person, just don't be stupid enough to forget about yourself.
Speaker 1:That deep Damn y' about yourself. That deep, damn all y'all. That was deep. This is how I'm ending this. Y'all shit, mike, listen, I can't beat none of y'all, I'm just going to. That's all I'm going to say.
Speaker 4:Happy Mother's Day, I know we're a little late. We love y'all. I hope you got somebody in your life that love you and showed it to you and appreciate you. And we're going to celebrate the men father's day and we are not celebrating women for father's day.
Speaker 1:That's going to be a we love y'all, we love y'all.
Speaker 4:Y'all do love no now but we fathers in here we're going to rep for the fathers on that day Coming up episode coming soon.
Speaker 1:You know the one thing I just want to do it real quick, and I thought about it when you said. You said just real quick uh, know your worth and know where you stand in your relationship. I think, after hearing you talk today and knowing where you were, I think that's big though your worth. Know where you stand and what you're yourself and what you want, and I guess, don't settle, but at the same time, don't knock yourself down for what you want. I think that was even for me. That's something I had to think about. So, understand what you are and understand that you can still be happy, but you have to, of course, heal. I thought that was big. I'm leaning with you on that one. This has been real y'all. This was dope, this was dope. This was fun. I loved having you all here with us today, appreciate it.
Speaker 2:It was a great addition to the energy that we was leading. Shout out your name for the people again.
Speaker 1:Let them know. Let them know my name is Lish. Lish.
Speaker 2:AJ, Alicia Nah All it.
Speaker 1:You Lish on here, lish, lish what you say earlier.
Speaker 2:Lish Unfiltered.
Speaker 1:I love that Lish Unfiltered. Well, listen y'all. We back in a couple weeks For sure, and I appreciate y'all, like always, man, this was dope, this was fun. Man y'all, make sure, if you can, man, new Instagram page out man. New Instagram out. Man Facebook. Man, we're getting out here for y'all. We're gonna get a camera out here for y'all. Man, we appreciate y'all if y'all could go go get these calls right too.
Speaker 4:We wanna talk to the people, we really threw me for a loop today.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I wanted to talk. Hey, listen, we had Bob.
Speaker 4:We don't have my boy Bobby over here, mr Drink, don't Smoke, sounds drunk.
Speaker 1:But I appreciate y'all man. Thank y'all for listening. Thank you for tuning in, thank you for calling in For the ones that did. Hey man, listen man. This is you know again this your boy DJ Bucko man, I got the OG mic. My boy Romski In the building In the homegirl leash man. And this is another no Cap, my Rap, exclusive no cap. We listen and we don't judge. Just a little bit.